Disappointment, it’s usually a feeling that people don’t want to be met with. Yet, it’s the consequence many will face. Whether it’s because of getting bad grades, being let down by a friend, or falling short of our expectations. The most important part is how everyone deals with it, and how they plan to get back up. For me, my sport is where I will face this emotion. There is always something for me to improve and work on during practice; and when I see myself improving on the field, I find it exhilarating. But not everything has a happy ending. There were times when my team would lose, even when I did my best. It made me feel hopeless, I felt like what I was doing was never enough. It was like an endless loop of defeat after defeat, even when I beat my personal best. It broke me; it was a mental challenge I felt like I had to deal with on my own. 

But I didn’t let that deter me, I still kept chasing the high, hoping for that good feeling of victory. Over and over again, I was hit with that wall of disappointment, breaking me a little more every time. Some days, I didn’t know how to handle it, so I pushed it aside, for I had far more things to think about. Ignoring my emotions didn’t help, I felt that cloud of disappointment hover over me every day leading up to the next game we would eventually lose.

Everything stayed the same until one match that would teach me a big lesson. It was a course I’d never been to before, so it was like uncharted territory for me. In the first few holes, I was playing above my average, which got me energized and hyped. However, there was one hole that I blew up on, and it left me devastated. That one mistake ruined my mental game, which altered how I really performed on the course. While I was heading to the next hole, I stopped and took deep breaths. I verbally communicated with my teammate how I was feeling, and she reassured me. This allowed me to clear my mind and find the confidence to finish the round.

In the end, I wound up beating my personal best score, medaled for that match, and ended up winning. This round really taught me more about myself because I learned what techniques helped me calm down. For me, I dealt with my disappointment by communicating my emotions with others and allowing myself to feel them instead of pushing them aside.