The measurement of how long you’ve lived is much clearer than how long you have left to live. Time is something that can be measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, etc., but no one ever knows how much longer they have to spend with their loved ones before it’s their time to go. The thought of dying is one of the hardest things to explore, but the thought of your grandma dying is even scarier. 

It’s been 5 years since my grandma has been told she had 6 months left to live after being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. And now, she’s still living, but now with months left on this planet. She defied the time measurements doctors have given her for the past 5 years, but now, it’s real, and it’s happening. With months left with her, I’m forced to dive into the reality that this could be my last Thanksgiving, last Christmas, and even my last New Year’s Day with her. Going through all of these lasts is one of the scariest things a person could ever go through. Whenever I perform, go on stage, and see her in the audience, it’s terrible knowing that this could be the last time she sees me doing the one thing I love to do, dance. It’s really one of the hardest things to endure, and it pains me every time I see her frail, fragile body. 

As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned that you can’t live alone in life, and it’s even harder to struggle alone. Suffering is a part of the flow of life, and it’s important to allow others into your life, even when you’re at your lowest. By allowing my friends to help take the load off my shoulders, it’s become easier to deal with. Pain is something that everyone goes through, and it’s less painful when others are there to help you out and lift you up. 

My friends are people who are always there when I need them for anything. They comfort me, make me laugh, and cheer me up when I’m feeling the worst. They are the people who I can look to whenever I need to. They always help me out no matter what. They can share their problems with me and I can share mine. Friends are something that everyone needs because they can allow us to live a more joyful and happy life. They’ve helped me get through these moments of sadness, and it makes it easier for me when I can confide in them. I’ve learned to spend every moment with my grandma and allow her to take her time and fill it with the best memories I can give her.