In order to host a delicious BBQ on the beach in Surf City on the Fourth of July, the grilling has to begin at 5 or 6 pm. Otherwise, parking will be too difficult. So at 4 or 5 pm or so at home on July 4th, I couldn’t make up my mind. I wanted to see fireworks on the beach like I did in 2021, but my older sister suggested going to the theaters. At the time Across the Spiderverse was a popular summer film selling 300+ tickets on July 4th. I watched Into the Spiderverse before in class (it was awesome), so I wanted to see the sequel. At 6:30 or so we arrived at the movie theater and watched until the fireworks started. 

It was the best two hours and 20 minutes I’ve spent during the summer. I typically don’t watch movies because Hollywood bored me out, but Sony Pictures delivered way more than I expected. When was the last time a sequel was better than the original? 

Aside from the cool fight scenes, the story behind it all is worth dissecting. In the film people had their own ideas of who Miles should be. His parents want him to stay with them in New York instead of letting him go to New Jersey for college because to them he’s their kid. Miguel rejects him as an anomaly not worthy of being Spiderman. His own friends think he couldn’t handle the truth they were withholding. For too long he was looked down upon because of the preconceived notions they had of him, things Miles proved wrong on the train in Nueva York (see breakdown of the scene below).

Thinking about Miles’ arc made me realize why the movie resonated so much with my own soul. For years I’ve held myself back with self-doubt, self-deprecation, and a huge fear of failure. I kept telling myself everything I did wasn’t as good as what the next person did. I didn’t try out or apply for a lot of things because I would predetermine I won’t get in. My thoughts weren’t delusions; they became self-fulfilling prophecies. I’ve gotten quite a few participation awards in the few competitions I’ve competed in elementary school. I’m a sophomore and still haven’t done anything major yet- my college candidate profile isn’t looking very good- even though it’s only September. It’s not like I haven’t tried. I’m aware life is competitive, however, I would be in a better place if I wasn’t stuck in my cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies. Each time I fell flat like Flappy Bird, that failure strengthens my insatiable belief in my otherwise false oracles. 

I’ve stunted the tree that is me, seemingly doomed to fall short. If my clairvoyance abilities are correct, I would remain this way for the rest of my life until I stop the cycle I’m in. And the first step I need to take is the one that gets me out of my unstoppable hamster wheel. Given how difficult arguing with my thoughts is already, it’s more like a leap of faith. 

Nonetheless, I can see hope on the horizon. Lately I’ve noticed people could care less about me. I used to worry people were talking about me last school year, but I have a peace of mind knowing people don’t ever talk about me. I’ve also been less afraid of embarrassment when approaching people. It helps that people were nicer to me this year than last year.

I think I can beat my canon after all.