It has always seemed to me that the most perfect, pretty, popular girl has the straightest blondest hair you can imagine. While that might not make sense to many others, for much too long I thought that lighter hair would make me prettier, straightening my hair will make more people like me and fitting in with the beauty standard will make me better and happier.

Not surprisingly, that thinking never made me happy, it never made me better, and no matter how much I wished, I never magically turned blonde. This envious mindset even made me sad, ruined my self esteem, and completely destroyed my confidence. Looking longingly at others never did anything but hurt me.

Recently, I have relearned what beauty is. It never had anything to do with the clothes one wore or the way one looked. It had everything to do with the way that person walked, spoke, and the energy they radiated. Beauty is measured by the things you can do and how much you care for people. It is shown in your actions, your achievements, and your personality. In reality those who focused on society’s standards of beauty lost focus on what actually made you pretty. Being good looking was never the answer. Being intelligent, caring, and confident is what makes you happy, it makes you better, and it makes people want to be around you. It makes you pretty.

In the journey to reteach myself what beauty meant, I have found a formula. Instead of seeing my imperfections, I have started to look for what I can do. For example, changing my focus from having chubby fingers, to being able to use those same fingers to play the piano, type, and write. Rather than thinking about my hands as a problem, I started to think of them as the solution. They are the reason I can do my school work and get good grades. They hold the hands of people that I love. My chubby fingers do more than I would have ever thought, and I am extremely grateful. My brown hair works just as well as blonde hair and wavy hair is just as good as straight hair. Every person no matter how they look is beautiful. You are beautiful. And having blonde straight hair never meant anything more than just a color and texture.