What if you don’t know how you make you?

My Something is Nothing

“What do you do in your free time?”

I do nothing really

Sleeping, daydreaming, writing, and not using what’s mine

Like my premature sewing skills and sketching silly

Drawings and reading in inconsistent bursts

Making me think that I’ve finally grown a hobby

Until I get bored and lack thirst

For those things, I did once a monthly

And I tell myself that school is blocking me

Given workloads that take much of my hours

But that is only half true as on the weekend I see

That potential I try to reach has results very sour

Which is nothing compared to summer

When I botch my own schedule and sew one thing

Out of the two months and a half, it’s a bummer

Knowing that I can’t control my time I try to get rid of that sting

And of course, I’ll waste time occasionally playing video games

With my friends or by myself but none of that counts

When I could instead be doing what is productive by names

Like playing a sport and helping a cause but I don’t so to surmount

I started writing in my journal which joined my list

Of undone activities that could maybe build a self-image 

And it does but only to my guilt and that is why I insist

To myself that I should find something that won’t turn into scrimmage

So the time I spend on all of these things

Are worth nothing

Therefore

I do nothing in my free time    

Your Nothing is Something

What do you do in your free time?

“I do nothing really”

I hear from you as you are doing something

Breathing, walking and talking

Sitting, looking, and thinking

You tell me that you occasionally

Draw, write, read, and sew

Write in your journal and play video games,

With people or your own

As you daydream and ponder

Your wonderful ideas and fantasies

Or how bad your day was which makes you wonder

Continuously in your vast mind

You say you do nothing because you doing something

Is usually inconsistent and unworthy as you find

When in reality human nature disagrees and forces you into doing

So as to keep living on

And yeah school does get in the way of a lot of pursuing

And most people naturally want summer to be a break that’s won

Through their endless doing and working

For some, a break is relaxing and for others, it’s doing less relaxing

But both are doing a valuable something

Because those things are valuable to them and not forcefully taxing

You seem to forget to ask yourself if these things make you happy

Because if you did then you would see some value in your nothing     

You focus too much on other people and ideas making you unhappy

Which I find absurd because all I see is you doing fulfilling things

That is worth something

Therefore

You do a lot in your free time