Everyone has a favorite, special something of any kind. Whether it be a favorite food, place, game, etc. Our favorite something brings us joy. However, when taken away, we will find ourselves doing whatever it takes to reobtain it, or we might never see the light of that happiness again. If this has ever happened to you, I’m here to relate in the best way possible and provide probable solutions.
In my life, I have experienced sadness like most of you, but I’m positive it wasn’t as tremendous and severe as your past experiences. They’re pretty petty, now that I think about it. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression, nor have I ever thought otherwise. As a little boy, I’d throw a fit over most things, like any baby would. As I got older, I stopped stomping around in a tantrum and crying over the littlest of things, although I must say that old habits tend to die hard. Let me show you what I mean…
To enlighten you of my story, I must first ask: What have you lost, and how has that affected your life? Recently, I have experienced the potential loss of a 大親友 (it means best friend in Japanese – pronounced “daishinyuu”; remember this because it will pop up a few times later in the blog) (To clarify, the purpose of this blog is not to talk about my sad backstory, but to utilize it to teach you how to cope with and resolve/let go of these problems we face). Don’t worry – he’s not sick or dead. Please don’t send me hate mail for daring to complain about such a pitiful thing – I’m just sharing something that impacted me personally. It’s so sad, too (I think it’s sad, but you might think it’s pathetic); all communication between us has shut down, and I can’t help but think it’s my fault.
It all began in the summertime of this year when he stopped talking to me out of the blue. You’d think he might have wanted some alone time, which is what I thought. However, he remained happy and in contact with all his other friends, proceeding not to pay me any mind. It devastated me. The thing is, we’ve been through so much together, and the sad part was that he didn’t care, but I did. I then rethought whether our friendship was one-sided since it seemed so. I don’t think I have cried so much in one summer compared to all other summers in the past decade. I blamed him for this betrayal, but in reality, it was me. Now that I think about it, I have never been the proper friend he deserved. Considering that he is extremely talented, intelligent, hard-working, friendly, and kind, I should have never taken him for granted like I had before. I never truly realized I had won the 大親友 lottery until my scratcher flew away in the wind, never to be found again. I want to talk to him and address this silence, but I can never gather the courage to speak with him. As every day passes, it becomes harder and harder to approach him.
Since I care about him dearly as a friend, I want the best for him. It signifies accounting for his happiness – if he is happy the way he is with all his other friends, even if it means he doesn’t want to be with me, I’d be a burden to get in the way. Because I preoccupy myself with him, I cannot risk disturbing him. I’m in quite the pickle, and I have but myself to blame for it.
I hold my 大親友 in a particular place inside my heart, for he is like none other I have come across.
He likes to learn Japanese (hence the reason for including 大親友 in this blog). I saw this as an opportunity to take inspiration from something he finds pleasing and turn it into something meaningful. Coincidently, he indirectly sparked my desire to learn Japanese, so I dedicated my time to teaching myself. While listening to a Japanese song, I read the translation and thought about our deteriorating relationship. Inspired, I wrote a poem (in English) with the same meaning to express my feelings. Here it is below:
Intermittently, they all come floating by,
precious memories of mine.
On that one day, I saw
the fragments of my dream
that still reside in my heart right now.
I know that this much is true,
in the moment here with you.
As we move forward now
into the present time…
Oh, how the sun shines brightly,
its warm smile is bursting radiantly.
And as for the bonds that tie our friendship…
they’ll never ever loosen up.
Intermittently, all my dreams fade away.
For tomorrow lies ahead.
On that one day, I saw
the big and great blue sky,
and ourselves always together.
I tried to blame everybody else out there.
All I want in this endless world…
is to be with you every moment of the day.
In my very heart
are memories we share.
Oh, how the sun shines brightly,
its warm smile is bursting radiantly.
And as for the bonds that hold our friendship…
they’ll never ever break apart.
Oh, how the sun shines brightly,
its warm smile is bursting radiantly.
And as our eternal friendship…
it’ll never ever fade away.
If only I could read it to him. If only he had realized how drastically this impacted me. If only he knew I was crying on the inside, hiding my sorrow with a dissembling mask to make it look like everything was A-OK.
I know, it’s not that good. You’ll notice in the poem that I didn’t explicitly state the problem, nor did I say I was unhappy; I said that I wanted to spend more time with him like we did in the good old days and that our friendship wouldn’t die. I wish things would return to how they were when we were still friends in a two-sided relationship. I just want my 大親友 back.
Holding onto the past firmly and refusing to let go is an unhealthy custom we all prefer to cling to. Knowing this, I had no choice but to take it off my mind. It was difficult, as it took many tearful hours and self-convincing to finally relinquish what had been holding me back – for we can never begin the next chapter of our lives if we keep re-reading the last one.
This does not mean that I don’t care about him anymore – I still do – it just means that I’m forgetting the past and am focusing on the positives that help me progress. I realized that he was not my only favorite something and that I had others accompanying me. I set aside the negatives to focus on the positives – my other favorites. My other favorites helped me forget about that one long-lost favorite and move on, and they will help you too! Your other favorites will help you realize that there are so many other sources of happiness and that losing one can be compensated for. Yes, I’ll acknowledge that getting over the loss of your favorite something is a gradual process, but that’s what emphasizes its importance. Think of it as a path of reflection – you must venture on before you are ready to accept your fate. This also doesn’t mean you can’t regain it after you’ve lost it; the loss is only temporary and lasts however long you wish. You decide whether to recover what you lost or to look ahead and move on.
Even after all the personal struggle, he remains my 大親友 to this day. Currently, we’re distant, but that doesn’t define our fates. Even though he might not share mutual feelings for me, I refuse to stop trying or give up because he is my 大親友, and nothing will ever defy that or break our bonds of friendship!
I’d also like to include one song I enjoyed listening to (in Japanese) that has emotionally moved me. This video includes the Japanese lyrics, Romaji (a system of romanized spelling used to transliterate Japanese), and English translation all at the same time:
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. Hopefully, I related to your problem in any way and possibly impacted you as well as opened your eyes to solutions. If this didn’t happen, I am sorry you did not find my story appealing or helpful. I’d also like to apologize for focusing more on my problems rather than being broad and humble. Maybe it’s possible that you just saw it and decided to hear my story just out of curiosity. Whatever the case, I hope you stay true to your favorite somethings.
Here is the Japanese song that I took inspiration from to create my poem, coming from one of my favorite animes: The original song in Japanese
If you time the music and the words correctly, you’ll find that the poem can follow the tempo. However, you’d have to repeat the first two stanzas for the song’s first four minutes or so because the same lyrics repeat themselves twice. (Note that the verses and choruses are separated heavily from each other by individual music pieces throughout the song). If you’d like, here’s the piano-only version of the song, although it’s more extended: Piano only version of the song
Write Our World 