I stopped. All my life savings had been stolen by the only person I trusted. The one person who helped me when I was at my lowest had just stabbed a knife into my neck leaving me paralyzed for life. A victim of manipulation will never truly know how much they have been used until it’s over. Those who fall into the trap might not ever have a way to know When someone attempts to gaslight and manipulate another individual, the gaslighter first must gain the trust and approval of the opinion of the person being gaslit. The process of gaining trust is quite simple. You can present yourself as a person of influence such as a more superior, knowledgeable figure or, act as a friend whom the gaslit can trust. 

When you are in a vulnerable position, you might encounter someone trying to comfort you. They could give you a hug or talk to you in order to make you feel better. Sometimes the person who is trying to help you has genuine intentions to help you feel better and grow. Other times, the person you encounter might try to help you at first but then slowly start to change in intentions. These changed intentions could make them want to use you for their own gain. Whether it is for information, money, or any type of service the person who once tried to help you can feel like you are indebted to them. Their mindset runs on the idea of giving some and always getting back more instead of giving someone a part of their energy as an act of kindness. These people who have a trading mindset are more likely to be apathetic than others. 

But how will they get what they want? A lot of the time manipulators will find or seek you out because they have a motive. Whether it is to inflict pain or to obtain information, they must do it the right way. Since we live in a modern age, most people are educated enough to know not to get blatantly manipulated by someone else. Because of this, manipulators must find a way to get what they want from you. They could use methods such as indirectly threatening you and pretending to be on your side or acting as if you both have common interests in order to get more information out of you. By acting as a friend, they are able to manipulate you into giving them the information that they want.

In Shakespeare’s play Othello, Iago, the main antagonist is shown to act like a slippery snake always watching his victims for a chance to knock them down when they are weak. In Act 4 Scene 1, Iago is with Othello when he is in a weak, vulnerable moment and spiraling out of control.  When Iago sees this, he starts spurring out lies that get to Othello’s head. Even though Iago’s lies are so absurd, they manage to become true in Othello’s mind because those lies come from his “friend” and a “trusted” source. In this scene in Othello, Iago represents an evil counselor in Ditch VIII where his intentions are “concealed in flames”. As long as the person manipulating (Iago) acts friendly and pretends to act in the gaslit’s (Othello) best interest, it is very hard for the gaslit to pull away. 

Emotional attachment towards the manipulator is very common, especially if the victim was found by the manipulator in a vulnerable state. When the manipulator sees and helps the victim in this situation by providing emotional support, shelter, mutual opinions, or anything that links the two together, it is very hard for the victim to detach from the manipulator because of a feeling of debt or a need to return the help that they once received from the other. Another reason why the victim might not be able to detach from the manipulator is because they do not want to think the trust they put in them was wrong. This feeling might be able to be explained by the Dunning Kruger Effect where the victim doesn’t want to believe that their decision was wrong. A lot of the time, someone might have “no idea how incompetent he is”. Therefore, they feel a sense of attachment to the manipulator. 

Manipulation is a mentally hard thing to go through and sometimes an even harder thing to overcome. With all the mental tricks that someone can use and the inability to escape from manipulation,