If you’ve ever visited Costco, you have definitely witnessed the summer rush where everyone is finding the ideal watermelon. Everyone is searching for distinct qualities of their watermelon just to get the same satisfaction: a perfect watermelon. People use different methods for finding the perfect watermelon. Some may look for a yellow spot, the heaviest one and some may pick from listening to the sound of the fruit by hitting it. It isn’t very likely you’ll find the “perfect watermelon”, but occasionally you’ll come across a somewhat sweet and juicy watermelon that you just can’t get enough of. Finding love is like finding the perfect watermelon.

Eventually once in your life you may wonder why it’s so difficult to find love and why it’s so hard to maintain love. It isn’t just a simple answer, though, love is in fact a simple thing; it’s filled with many complicated obstacles and emotions. A big factor that destroys a relationship is not being able to trust your partner. It’s important that trust is built in the foundation of a relationship from the very start. Having trust in a relationship allows you to navigate conflict. Forgiving their shortcomings, you can give them the benefit of the doubt if you see the good in them and trust them. For instance, we see this difficulty in Othello when Othello doubts his wife’s loyalness and accuses her of cheating. Trust was never really established in their relationship as they had rushed to elope, however, this was one of the causes of Desdemona’s death. Finding someone that shows their support is also very difficult to find. Let’s say you are having a conversation with someone and they’re showing little engagement by simply nodding their head. Are they really listening? Do they care about you or what you have to say? As said in the Mojave Phone Booth Podcast, “It wasn’t about the content, it was about the connections”. It’s crucial in a relationship that conversations are valued where you can recognize their support and how much they care. 

It’s also increasingly difficult when you are in a relationship where there are unknown unknowns. The Dunning Kruger Effect greatly emphasizes the idea of how the more you know, the more you will underestimate yourself and the less you know, the more you will overestimate yourself. This leads to miscommunication when one of the spouses in a relationship isn’t able to recognize what their partner is going through because they believe they know exactly what’s going on. Asking “Are you okay?” or “Did I do something wrong?” is how this concept goes into effect leading to where communication is key. David Theriault suggests that “The unknown unknowns are the ultimate blind spot and they are the reason why it is mandatory that we solicit and listen to the opinions of those who will be affected by our own decisions”. The more aware we are of our wrongs, the more we can improve our skills and relationships. Otherwise even if we have good intentions, we can make tragic mistakes. When both partners value each other, love is incredibly fulfilling despite its many challenges.