Optimism is a positive thing and gets you through a lot of rough patches. Similarly, jealousy takes away your ability to be thankful and see all the good things in life: “Jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.” This quote from Shakespeare’s Othello stood out to me because I interpreted “mock the meat it feeds on” as being self-consuming, and almost torturous to the mind. While this is true, there is a limit to both how beneficial optimism can be and how damaging jealousy can be.

When you go through things, it is easy to get stuck in a rut of self-pity and sadness where you are basically in an echo chamber of gloom. Optimism for the future gives us something to look forward to, and thus something to work towards. Optimism and the ability to look forward gives you hope and keeps you going. However, there is a difference between being optimistic and dismissing all the feelings that you may have. Ignoring everything negative in your life and shrugging it off as “it could be worse” is something that will lead you to ignore risks and bottle up emotions.

Jealousy on the other hand gets more tricky. One day I was scrolling through Instagram and I stumbled upon my old friend’s post. It was a photo dump of her and her friends hanging out together. I saw this and naturally compared it to the way me and my own friends hang out. She was lying down in a blanket with snacks on Halloween during a sleepover with her friends watching a movie, while me and my friends were at a completely different type of sleepover in Long Beach. Naturally, I envied her. Talking to her last month, I realized she envied me too. If what connects me to my friend group is a sturdy but uncomfortable metal bridge, my friend is connected to hers by a delicate but soft silk rope, and we envied each other for these connections. If our roles were switched, we should still not be content. Jealousy robs us of our ability to appreciate what we have and be thankful, however, there is more to jealousy than just that.

Just as optimism in healthy amounts leads to incentive, so does jealousy. Though you should be thankful for what you have, you should know things that you don’t have and are in need of so you can work towards it. Without emotions like jealousy, you can be in an alarming situation but not even know it. You may need things and feel empty or helpless without knowing why, and you would have nothing to work towards because you don’t know what it is you are supposed to work for. This concept is similar to known unknowns, where we are aware of something but don’t understand, for example feeling the numbness and anger of a terrible situation but not knowing what is wrong with the situation because you can’t look at someone else’s situation and go “I wish I had that.” In that sense, jealousy is an underrated motivator.

 Imagine being at work one day and seeing your co-worker with their significant other and feeling like something is missing from your life. Would you shrug it off as something that could be worse? Would you ignore your jealousy in the name of optimism and let things go as they are, only to find your “stable” family foundation crumbling ten years down the line? You might if you didn’t have emotions like jealousy and optimism (but not too much). In this situation, jealousy gives you your “I’m missing something and I need to confront it” moment, while optimism gives you the hope for the relationship, or hope to get out of it if it’s a bad one. Being thankful is important, and perhaps being thankful for your jealousy is even more important. However, controlling the amount of both optimism and jealousy is crucial to being able to identify and reach your goals.