As I look back at my past relationship, I’ve learned the importance of communication and the stability it brings. Jealousy can stem from a lack of attention that your partner is giving to someone else. Without communicating those feelings or gaining reassurance, the relationship can go into a downward spiral of disaster. Every relationship is different, but talking out your feelings between you and your partner is what builds trust and prevents jealousy and misunderstandings. 

A big issue that tends to arise within relationships is when you or your partner don’t understand what they’re doing wrong. It’s less about whether or not they know what they’re doing wrong, but why they’re doing something wrong. As I think more and more about my past, I’ve realized the amount of problems I could’ve avoided if it wasn’t for my incompetence. As an extremely loud and social person, I tend to gain a lot of both male and female friends. However, as I entered my first relationship, I failed to understand the jealousy that came with being friends with people of the attracted gender. When you’re incompetent, the skills you need to produce a right answer are exactly the skills you need to recognize what a right answer is. The inevitable downfall of my relationship originated from the envy my partner formed towards my male friends as I was overly friendly with everyone no matter who they were, and the anger I got from not understanding his feelings. If we communicated properly, the relationship wouldn’t have gotten as bad as it did, but despite the disappointment I feel towards myself, the experiences I’ve gained are things I would never replace. 

In the Shakespearean story Othello, Iago plans for Desdemona and Othello’s relationship to inevitably end. At its core, Iago was the one at fault for their relationship’s failure, but if Othello took a more logical and calm approach to the situation, addressing his concerns with Desdemona, the story wouldn’t have ended in such tragedy. Among other lessons, Othello also teaches the reader the importance of communicating within relationships. 

Despite not having a separate circle in Dante’s Inferno, envy is known to cause higher and more serious forms of sins. In Dante’s Inferno, it’s stated that jealousy causes violence towards other people, and although it’s not necessarily to this extent, envy causes major destruction within relationships as it roots from being unsure towards the unknown. The unknown being the endless unanswered possibilities that could be happening when two people are away from each other.

Jealousy is what can drive people to do unimaginable things. If you ever get into a relationship, always know what you’re looking for within that relationship, set boundaries, communicate, and always try to be there for each other. Envy is dangerous, and I absolutely and positively suggest that you don’t go down the route I did.