A splash of cold water hits my face as I look at myself in the mirror. My mind flashes back to the moment that happened a few minutes ago. “Why are you eating so much? You are going to get fat.” my mom says as we’re all sitting at the dinner table. I quickly finish eating  and then excuse myself from the table and that’s why I’m in the bathroom now. I know that a lot of people from Asian families  have faced the same experience. We know the feeling that hits us when our parents say that, it’s like that phrase, “lipstick on a pig” because no matter how hard you try to look good or be better you will always be a pig.
For some reason, we can never please our parents because we will never be smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, and so much more. So we feel like we’ve fallen like Cassio who stated, “Oh, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself and what remains is bestial.”  Just like Cassio, we fall into a pit of self-disappointment and sadness from losing some type of respect of someone you admired or loved.  Yet they will always find a way to pick out our mistakes, loser or winner, they will find a way. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if my grades weren’t my main priority. I understand that grades are important but why do I need to get As consistently? One B wouldn’t hurt anyone as long as it isn’t frequent. So many Asian families put academics  before the mental health and sometimes physical health of their kids that they don’t even have the chance to live the life as a kid and have to deal with all the stress and pressure this young.   Another thing about some Asian families is their shameless favorability to the son in the family because they try so hard to keep the lineage. We can see that, through this, “In essence, the simplest way to ensure that men produced offspring of their own lineage was the suppression and control of the sexuality of their female mates.” It’s been known throughout history that men have been favored as the superior offspring compared to women, so they are often pushed aside, which is a very toxic norm in Asian households. Recently I was told  a story about how my cousin is babied and is seen as a top priority since he was the only son in my uncle’s family which meant he could get away with anything we wanted and I have seen it happen with my own eyes. Which is why I will never understand the need to favor the son over any other offspring.
I really do wonder if these parents realize what they’re doing like Donald Rumsfeld once said “But there are also unknown unknowns.  These are the things we do not know we don’t know.”  Do our parents realize how we’re feeling? We’re all just trying our best in the end aren’t we? I do realize that a lot of Asian families especially if they immigrated to a new country and want us to succeed in life and not struggle like some of them did, but it’s just too much sometimes.  One day, I hope we’re all able to find peace with-in our families not just Asian ones but everyone who is going through the same thing but for now we’ll just try our best to keep up to the demands.