If We Were Meant to Be, We Would’ve Been Right Now

Fate will choose the best option for you, whether you like it or not. I always believed that whoever is meant to stay in your life will stay in your life. If someone decides to leave, let them leave, because what can you do about it? If they choose to leave, it’s their loss; whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or even a friend. I’ve found more peace in letting go than resisting or attempting to alter the situation. Letting go is like trusting the universe to do its thing, and sometimes we don’t have to always be in control of everything. 

In the end, if someone decides to walk away, I see it as a reflection of someone’s choices rather than them seeing a lack in your worth. Departures call for new beginnings, and most of the time, change is good and it will ultimately build you up to become a better person. Just sit back, relax, and trust what the future will bring to you.

Dried Flowers

I believe flowers are one of the most beautiful things God has ever created. Each petal and blossom tells a different unique story. Every bouquet or flower I have ever received, I’ve always left them between books or hanging upside down to dry. These dried blooms are not just decorations; they are preserved memories of the emotions I felt on the day I received them. 

I know flowers aren’t a big gesture or anything, but to me, flowers are delicate and are just a beautiful gift anyone can receive. Flowers can be given on any occasion, whether it be sad, happy, exciting, or just because. For me, they serve as reminders that nothing lasts forever and everything should be handled with care. Even the most beautiful things fall apart and eventually meet their end. That’s why I love preserving them, so I can hold on to the memories that are given to me. I save them even if the flowers come from someone I don’t have contact with anymore. They serve as subtle cues, gently telling me to recall the emotions I experienced when I first received them, reinforcing the idea that nothing is permanent. Within these pretty hues and delicate petals, there exists a beautiful memory and a lesson behind them.  

‘Cause Boredom Got a New Bestfriend

“Boredom” Tyler, the Creator feat. Rex Orange County & Anna of the North

“I been starting to feel like I don’t know anyone

So now I’m staring at my ceiling going

Like I don’t know where I’m going

(Tick Tock)“

I used to beg and pray for times like this. Times where I could just rot in bed and have nobody bother me. Times where I could just binge Netflix like there’s no tomorrow. Times where I wouldn’t have to constantly check up on others and just be with myself alone. 

Many people hated the Covid lockdown and staying home all day, but I enjoyed my alone time until it started hitting the 3-month mark. I missed the sun, I missed talking to my friends without a screen between us, I missed going out, I missed meeting new friends, and I missed school just a little bit. Tending to my villagers in Animal Crossing got boring, rewatching the movies I’ve already watched got boring, and staring at my ceiling just thinking got boring. My thoughts got repetitive, and everything became a blur. All my friends I used to be close with stopped talking to me, besides my neighbor who I wasn’t the closest to in middle school. 

When it was okay to go outside with a mask on, I wanted to do something. The thing was, I was only 12-13 years old and so were my friends, and we all were too lazy to bike to each other’s houses or convince our parents to give us rides anywhere. I gave my neighbor/friend a chance and walked over to her home to see if she wanted to go for a simple bike ride around the neighborhood. We were only acquaintances in middle school because we surrounded ourselves with different people, but I got to know her besides the fact that her hair was firetruck red.

 Biking became a Tuesday thing, then it turned into a Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday thing until it turned into us going to each other’s houses every day. I used to think boredom was my best friend until a little redhead biked into my life. Now, I’ve created 4 years of memories with her, and she quite literally is my sister from another mister. She’s the only friend who’s seen me laugh till my ribs get tough, cry until I can’t breathe, and pick me up when I’m at my worst. I’m glad to say she’s the only friend I need.

“Ribs” by Lorde

“You’re the only friend I need (you’re the only friend I need)

Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids)

And laughing ’til our ribs get tough”

Everything Comes with a Consequence

I love a lot of things in life. The beach, singing, dancing, my friends, music, family, and more. But one of the things I love the most is a good iced matcha. I never really drank tea or anything like this, until last year when my best friend let me try her drink one day. What began as a simple sip effortlessly transformed into an amazing blend of sweetness and green tea, compelling me to take another, and then another; until I found myself wholeheartedly chugging her whole drink. Though unintended, I quickly realized what I’d done and offered to take her back to the cafe and pay for a drink for her and myself. Whether it’s from a high-end cafe like Stereoscope or a convenient shop like Starbucks, it’s my favorite drink ever. From the beautiful rich green to the soothing taste of a powdered green tea mixed with a sweet and creamy undertone, I don’t think I could live without it. 

Which is a problem. I found myself asking my parents to take me to Starbucks or any cafe that sells great matcha more than I can count on my fingers. I’ve gotten to the age where my parents don’t want to pay for things for me anymore, so I’ve kept a close eye on my bank account balance. The only times when I don’t care about my bank account balance is when I want to buy myself this glorious green drink. There was this one day when I went into my favorite shop, Stereoscope, and I tried to buy myself my regular matcha order, but I ran my card over the reader and stood in shock when the cashier told me my card declined. I was awkwardly laughing, asking her to run my card through a different way, and then again until I saw a line start to queue up behind me. I was starting to sweat, thinking this was getting embarrassing. I laughed awkwardly and asked my mom if she could spot me this one time. My mom laughed at me, which I deserved because I really should check my spending habits. I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t gone back to this cafe in a month, and I also got a job.

Smarty Pants (starring me and my dad)

Story inspired by Chapter 36: “A Smart Cookie” in The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

I could’ve been somebody, you know? My dad says and sighs. My dad has lived in Vietnam for two-thirds of his life. He can speak two languages. He was a child actor. He knows how to run a business. He knows how to sell houses. But he doesn’t know how to help my 10-year-old brother with his math homework. I help my little brother with his homework for him.

Today while cooking oatmeal he is one of the singers from Paris by Night until he sighs and points the wooden spoon at me. I could’ve been somebody, you know? Jolie, you go to school. Study hard. That singer guy is a fool. He stirs the oatmeal. Look at this cô gái. He means the actress in the show whose husband never comes home. Got to take care all your own, he says shaking his head. 

Then out of nowhere:

Shame is a bad thing, you know. It keeps you down. You want to know why I quit school? Because I didn’t have nice clothes. No clothes, but I had brains.

Yup, he says disgusted, stirring again. I was a smarty pants back then.