Wishes

[Jess Loiterton]

I wish, I wish, I wish that we had never left. Left the warm walls and cozy rooms that we once shared. Left the scratches in the wall that had been left there from when we first brought our dog home, back when she was just a puppy. Left the memories and lives that were once inhabiting our home. And left the people we were when we lived there.

On the last day in our old house, I had walked around. Just to say a sort of final goodbye for our home, the place that kept us comfortable and safe throughout all our time within it.

I saw all the remnants of our adventures. Our stories.

There are still speckles of blue on your walls that were too high up for any of us to reach. I like it better that way though. It shows you were there.

When we were kids you wanted to paint an ocean in your room. So one day after school you bought a deep blue can of paint and brought it home with you. You hadn’t even gotten half way through when our parents stampeded their way through the door to see what you had done. But there was no erasing the paint on the walls, the damage was done, so they let you finish. It softly covered your walls with your sorrow and love for the world around you. 

It was beautiful. 

We had to paint over it. I’m sorry.

I wish things were still as they once were. I wish we had never left.

But we all did leave, and you will never be forgotten.

  

Partner In Crime

[Cover Art for Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei]

“When you’re gone I feel alone again,” you were one of the last things that I could hold in my hand. You were real, you helped to “distract me from my loneliness.” I thought that you must have been pretending to like me like you did. 

But when the rain started to fall I knew you wouldn’t wash away like the others. You stayed with me drenched and drowning. The dark just barely lit by your glow. The water was rising. Rising past our ankles, past the bad memories, past the line of survival. 

“I was never meant to win.” But you were.

I asked if you could “Take a hold of me, please don’t let me go.” We held on tightly. The water consuming us. I was flooded with memories of our past. I remembered all the times we had. 

You had just ran away from home. You slipped out in the night, a night all too similar to this. You arrived at my doorstep dripping wet. Asking for my help. I obliged. 

Your parents had found out in the morning, you had stayed over at places for the night. We saw them ring the doorbell. We knew you had to leave. So I yelled for you to “Run for it, I’ll keep ‘em occupied for you, cause I love you, I love you so.” 

You were gone before I had even finished the sentence. But now you know.

The water was rising more. Our hands were still tightly bound together, immovable. I knew this was it. Yet, was this it for you? It shouldn’t have to be. You should live on, live past this mess I got you into. I’m sure there is someone more. Right?

“I’m ‘bout to die yet the only thing I find I’m worried about is you.” I try to let go, try to let you free above but it’s too late. The water ran past us. I tried to push you up, but it didn’t work, we were stuck.

“I was never meant to win,” and I suppose neither were you.

 

I try

[Amanda Orliczky]

I’ve tried so so hard.

I try I try I try 

Yet I can’t find my way.

I try to fit in,

But the box is too small,

My legs are cramped,

And my arms feels as if they’ll fall,

Right off.

Yet the world is too big, 

I try to be unique, 

But it’s all been done before.

I try to make friends.

I try to stay in.

I try to love an to hate, 

To enjoy the world, 

I try to follow the rules,

But none seems right.

I try I try I try,

And I’ll keep trying until,

I die.

 

Girl Anachronism

[Cover Art for Girl Anachronism by the Dresden Dolls]

“You can tell from the scars on my arms, and the cracks in my hips, and the dents in my car, and the blisters on my lips that I’m not the carefullest of girls,” and you can tell from how they look through their cars and roll their windows down that even from afar I’m breaking their walls down.

They will tell you that “It’s not the way I’m meant to be,” yet when I leave the streets all heads will turn on me, as if I’m not there to cause a rush, to make them think about all kinds of stuff. About the way that I was living and how my current state is giving them a reason to re-think their choices.

And the people try to stop me, and they will try to tell me how I’m making a mistake. How it’s not just common sense. That I’m being far too tense.

I’ll mock them, they’re “pretending that I’ll fall,” just don’t be surprised when I’ve gotten all that I want. They’ll try to end all of what I long. 

Look at me and think that she is just far too gone, “don’t call the doctors, they’ve seen it all before.”

“They’ll say, ‘Just let her crash and burn, she’ll learn, the attention just encourages her.”

 

One Small Rest

[Francesco Ungaro]

Ren had run off. Scared of what she had become. Scared of what others would think. Scared of herself. She ran off into the forest and didn’t look back.

So I did too. 

She is all I have left, and as long as I stay with her, I don’t care what happens, not really.

Pain shoots through my leg and I stumble forward. I can’t afford to stop. Ren will get further away every moment, and the plants are alive, waiting to grab on and hold tight.

I hear the crack of a branch and head in that direction. I have to make it.

Ren is running because of me. She tried to fix my mistakes and all it did was make it worse. I don’t blame her, not one bit. I hope she knows that.

The pain in my leg is getting worse. My head is throbbing. 

One small break won’t hurt, will it? One small rest, then I’ll find her.

After some time Ren wanders onto the path I was on. The fear in her eyes made me realize something was wrong. I felt it too. My body felt slow, tired, drained of energy. I looked down and saw vines clutching onto my legs and creeping onto my fingers. 

I was stuck.

But I was tired.

Ren was shaking, but all I could do was smile. At least I was here with her. 

I turned over my palm, letting her hands hold on tightly. I closed my eyes.

 

Home

[Kimberly Orliczky]

I have been away from home for a considerable time now. 

This is my home now, this is where I will stay. 

Looking back, sure I have fond memories there, but I have fonder ones now. With people I chose, not people I was born with.

That house was my home before, but now I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on from the past, moved on from that lost innocence of before.

But that’s okay. 

I am who I am because of it. And I get to enjoy myself now even more.

Sure that was the house I grew up in, but this is my home. I chose it, and it chose me.