“I Can’t Back Out Now”

When walking out to the Northside (of the pier) the waves are pumping. As a surfer who just hopped back into surfing after some time off, this was the biggest waves i’ve seen. Considering that if we turned around, the hassle of driving, paying for parking, and waiting for a spot to open all came into effect.

As we get to the berm and start stretching, I tell my friend. “I don’t know how I feel about these waves”

He quickly responds with the quote we joke around with “When the wave breaks here, don’t be there, or you’re gonna get drilled”. 

I laughed and I say “Seriously, I don’t know about this”

As he is putting his leash on and picks us board up, he says “I’ll see you out there” then runs into the waves.

I can’t back out now. 

“First Income”

Fountain Valley Little League. Located in Mile Square Park, was where we (my family) spent most of our weeknights in elementary school. From watching games or even playing in them. The one thing that made the experience perfect was Mr. March. Mr. March was the score keeper for the League and continues to do so for the FV high school. If a foul ball was hit out of the field, the first kid to get it and give it to Mr. March got a dollar. The beauty of this dollar was that right behind him was a snack bar with every snack you can imagine for a dollar. Endless possibilities. Sometimes, kids got in little scuffles to get the ball that Mr. March would give each kid a dollar. Sometimes, he gave two dollars if the return was fast enough. Sometimes, he wasn’t there so kids would collect the baseballs like Pokemon cards and wait for him to buy the ball off of him. Mr. March’s best interest is for other people. I wish to do the same. 

“Hobbies”

I love the idea that you don’t have to be good at your hobbies to enjoy them. There’s something so rewarding about being a beginner at something and being able to get better at it. I who learned to play Water Polo my Freshman year of high school, sat in the water with two people who have played water polo their whole life’s and I was struck by the facts that even though i wasn’t making my shots or hitting trick shots like Nate, if you have told 9 year old me this he would be overjoyed. So yeah it does seem fun to post photos and surf but isn’t it also fun to think how excited your 10 year old self was? So, go suck at your hobbies. No one is watching.

“The Beach”

This place is freeing. Many activities at hand. Walking. Talking. Running. Listening. Laying. Surfing is my favorite. Grabbing a piece of foam that is shaped into a surfboard and sprinting into the waves. Something about that quick sprint means something to me. That for me is the best part of the session. Running from the past and looking to the future. It’s weird. The feeling of the sprint or even being on a wave is indescribable. I could sit with a dictionary in front of me and I still couldn’t find a word to describe it. This is why surfing has become a safe place for me. No one can hear your voice from the sounds so I’m able to talk. Talk to myself. Talk to friends. Talk to God. It’s a remarkable thing. 

“A Quote I Think About, A Lot”

There is a quote by an Argentine author that I think about a lot that reads, “I am not sure that I actually exist; I’m all the writers that I read and all the people I met”. I will always make eggs scrambled because that’s how my mom liked it. I will always snooze my alarm for too long because that’s how my father did it. I will always tie my shoes with the bunny around the tree because that’s how my kindergarten teacher taught me. My style is the way it is because my friend wore it first and I liked how it looked. On Spotify, I have crossfade turned on not because I like it but because one day my friend took my phone and turned it on. How beautiful is it that those people we haven’t spoken to in years we now carry unknowingly with us in the ways we cook our food and live our lives? That our individuality is not only created but curated as a beautiful acknowledgement of our fondness of others. To like something enough of another person that we make it a part of ourselves is an tribute that we don’t think about it.