“Repeated Cries of Regret”

The drive was supposed to be calm and quiet, then came a phone call and with it tensions rose. The phone calls are constant but this one in particular seemed tense. Then outside input from the driver wanted to be acknowledged but this input didn’t fully grasp the call’s contents leading to discourse between passenger and driver. Both parties did a small back and forth before the car went silent again both thinking about what they could say next. Without notice and without warning the car sped up not by accident with a threat to collide with whatever was infront. The car stopped  a somewhat fair distance from the car stopped in front. The passenger and the parties in the backseats were left stunned for the rest of the drive home. 

Once everyone was home they all went to separate parts of the house so that everything could calm down. Then to cool off the driver left to clear their head leaving the passenger to try and calm down and the two backseat passengers scared because they understood the situation in full. Both backseat passenger at different times went to comfort the passenger as they cried. Both haven’t ever seen this from them used to see them be strong in every adversary they faced while protecting them but despite the fact they weren’t much better they wanted to comfort them over themselves for the time being. Their cries were filled with apologies that weren’t necessary or deserved.

There was a somewhat constant stream of, “I’m so sorry, I’m okay with this happening to only me as long as you two are okay, I don’t want to see either of you hurt because of us.”

The apologies didn’t need to be vocalized because the passenger wasn’t a fault and yet it was said anyway. This was a reminder that anyone could be vulnerable at any point and this was okay because it was something that came with simply being human and with being human we’re also allowed to seek the comfort to build back up someone to be a better version of someone that is so brave and selfless.

“What is Left Unseen” 

People tend to act in variety of ways, it all depends on their situation and their environment. Certain groups of people will think that a person acts the way they do towards them most of the time while others will not be able to even imagine them acting in that specific manner. There are constantly things that are left unseen when you interact with a person no matter how well you know them. 

With people I don’t know well or those I’m just meeting I’ll tend to keep to myself. I’ll talk if it’s necessary. I feel that’s it better to not irk a person and keep a polite front. Basic information about me will be revealed if it comes up in conversation and that will likely be it. If there’s nothing to do and no one currently talking to me I’ll be zoned out in my own world until I snap out of it. I’ll avoid eye contact if there’s no one paying attention likely scrolling on my phone to avoid unwanted attention.

Being with those I’m familiar with I’ll relax, put down the walls that I felt was necesary to put up. They make me feel as free as I can be and that’s all I need with them. I don’t feel the need to constantly worry about the world around me they make me forget for a while. They draw out a smile on the worst days and I only hope I can do the same. I don’t need to worry about their judgment when I find the spark to open up, and for that, I will never judge them. To zone out in front of them is to possibly miss out on a new memory, I’m okay with being in this world with them. The memories we make mean the world, and with every inside joke there’s a memory hung up on display in our museum of memories. They’re all I can ask for and more.

“A World of Possibilities In My Mind”

It’s as if the world is slowly and suddenly going silent. Surroundings feel as if they aren’t there and are just a blur. You can see the world with your own eyes but you don’t acknowledge it. Focus isn’t on the world we stand on but a world specific to only your mind. In that world reality shifts to your own ways of thinking or liking. Fantasies have the opportunity to come true, and myths aren’t just legends. Manners of other people change. Paths to a different version of yourself or other people form, those paths are filled with forks in the roads based on the choices the unknown versions of themselves make. Being the hero in your own story isn’t forbidden and neither is standing to the side. There’s a realm of possibilities mostly unable to come true in reality and more able to come true in thoughts. Those worlds are my own, free to share or keep secret, with whatever ending or beginning I wish.

“To Respect a Living Vision”

A life can be art, there are different versions and visions of it. The respect that comes with that can be hard to find or receive, what I think is harder is to take it in fully and accept that. Some things seem so miniscule and seem like they should be of not much importance. That’s the aspect that could make them more beautiful. Minor flaws seems major and what’s uncontrollable feel like they should be controlled. Those flaws no matter how much you want them to vanish before your eyes they won’t, you want to feel as if you’re imagining they’re there. However you’re not imagining a thing. The respect for the living version of yourself extends to the respect of other living things and yet its so hard to respect of the version of yourself alone. A version of yourself exclusive to only you is something worth making the best out of and it shows a work of art with it.

“The Shackles of Shame”

Without future growth from it, the shackles on yourself will remain. There will be a sort of regret in the things you do, or love. What felt right suddenly feels wrong because of the influence of something that didn’t suit you. The decisions made are more likely to be swayed and like that the ball and chain are put into place. The chains keep you down with little chance to get up, little chance to make your own decisions, and little chance to remove it. Sometimes the chains will lighten but they’ll be coexsiting with the normal day to day life. Other times the world plus the chains are too much to bear but as long as I don’t lay out my neck on the threshold, I think I’ll be as okay as I can be. The ball and chains may have been placed but they’re not always going to serve their purpose of holding something down. Since shackles can’t necessarily hold down forever they could one day rust and wear down because they won’t be as strong as they used to with time, the influence will have less of a say and what’s right will finally feel right.