“My Golden Trophy”

Reaching for the Stars by Feelsinara

  On a Saturday afternoon, my brother, my mom, my dad, my grandmother, and I went to the local grocery store for veggies that would soon be put in the stew back home. As my mom was sorting out the green plants in the isles and my dad was looking at the deli for the ground beef for next week’s dinner, I was with my younger brother in the tall isles of the store. 

  We were small back then, so anything we wanted we would not be able to reach. Searching through all the isles of canned foods, suspicious frozen meatballs, and the live fish that my brother could not touch, we eventually found sweet strawberry snacks up on the top shelf in the back of the store. Neither one of us could reach the snacks but, we mutually agreed that we were going to reach the snacks, one way or another. We tried to step on the shelves but that wasn’t working for either of us. We were too weak back then. Instead, we found two plastic stools and sneakily grabbed them, and placed them near the snacks. I stood up on the stools risking my own life and dignity for the beautiful, pink sweets that were calling my name. 

  As I grabbed my trophy, I showed it to my brother and we both hurriedly tried to find our cart. However, as we were running to our cart, our grandmother noticed us and also our snacks. She told us that my parents would not allow us to buy sweets. However, she could buy them for us. As she bought our snacks, me and my brother were predicting how the snacks were going to taste. My grandmother came back to us with the sweets in her hand, and my brother grabbed the box as if we hadn’t eaten in a week. During those short moments, I savored every last bit of the strawberry delicacies after I found the rest of my family.

Thank God It’s Friday

Here are some activities that I look forward to doing when I reach Friday and I finally get to relax. The purpose of this list is for me to make the most out of my life and be as happy as possible. Most of these I have done recently with loved ones.

• Put on a face mask- I like putting face masks on quiet nights when I don’t have to talk much. It cools my face, leaves me with shiny skin, and gives me an excuse to not talk to anyone.
• Call my friends- Calling those you care about is so fun when you just need to unwind and relax. Typically my friends live through similar experiences I do such as stressful times at school and friend experiences.
• Talk to my family- Sometimes when everything is calm and happy at my house, I tell my mom and siblings about my day and everything that goes down at school. A lot of the time they get a good laugh out of my stories and make comments about how chaotic high school life can be. I appreciate their laughter and patience when I tell my stories.
• Play Roblox- Typically I play Roblox at night with my best friend nearly every night because it’s a fun way to connect and gossip about our life. We play a variety of games such as Wordbomb, Dress to Impress, and Natural Disaster Survival.
• Make a bowl of noodles- Sometimes making a bowl of noodles with an absurd amount of toppings is the perfect cure for stressful times at school. Some toppings I like to add are cheese, dumplings, chives, chili oil, basil, and fries. There are many other foods you can add and combine with the ones I listed above. The amount of possible combinations you could make is endless.
• Sketch- Every once in a while, I will sketch out someone or something I saw in my week. Whether it ranges from a flower to a city, drawing lets me release my inner artist and use my creativity. Sometimes when I am out of inspiration, I go on Pinterest and Instagram to find pictures of aesthetic scenes or people.

“A Bed Frame of My Own”

Photo credit: @basiiq_mira on Pinterest

From the moment I was born, I have been blessed with a family who was always next to me.  I was born in a hospital like most babies are and the day I went home, I came to a one-bedroom apartment with my mom and dad. I didn’t have any siblings yet because I was the first child of my parents. 

I do not remember much about the times when I lived in the one-bedroom apartment because I was only 3 years old when I moved to a new home. It was a brown home with a small front yard and a driveway that went all the way to the back of my house. I was glad that I had moved out of the one-bedroom apartment and got to have more space to walk around in a place I felt safe. 

For the next few years, I would sleep with my entire family in one bed- my mom, my dad, my brother, and myself. we didn’t have a small bed though, it was some big mattress from Vietnam with no bed frame and no support. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor was a fun experience because even though I didn’t have the prettiest or sturdiest bed, I felt a sense of family. 

Then at the age of seven years old, I moved to my current home where the streets are safer, the sky is brighter, and where I got to meet most of my friends. I have been really happy in this home spending time with my family. I have my own room and my own bed with not the greatest bed frame but still some support for my mattress. 

As a child who slowly moved from bad situations to better ones, sometimes I do not realize what sacrifices my family has gone through to achieve what we have so far. I can’t imagine the grueling paperwork or the tedious immigration process that my parents went through so many years ago. Nor can I imagine what types of discrimination they faced as small flames in a huge world made of water or the freezing mornings When they would have to go to work at 4:00 in the morning and return at 8:00 when the sun was down. 

I cannot imagine it. I cannot fathom the sacrifices they’ve gone to to protect me, my happiness, and my safety. The responsibilities they took to protect what they cared about the most, me, is something that I feel like I can never repay them back for. and for that, I will always try my best to take care of them wherever I can whether it is with a good job or just quality time, I will be there for my loved ones.

“To be her”

“She takes the hit but never shows you where it hurts. Bathes you in spring sunshine, wipes tears dry and says I love you twice.”

She would always cover for me whether I was in the wrong or not. She would take the blows on me and try to bring me up when I was down. When I would cry she would bring me food that I liked. Pudding, flan, tofu, and smoothies were my favorite sweets growing up because they reminded me of her. She would try her best to make food according to my tastes even though she didn’t have my taste buds. She was my roof, my light, and my mom. Growing up I became a lot like her, from looks to habits. Although some good and some bad, I always want to stay close to her.

“Cause deep inside I wanna be her.”

“Up hanging off the ceiling”

One day I was at a cafe with my friend. She and I were studying for hours for our finals. During our study time, we got distracted because of our lack of passion for schoolwork. For example, we would get off track and gossip for hours about people, problems, and restaurants. 

We would get food as a way to move around and distract ourselves from the impending doom of work we had to do. During that day, I got to eat beef noodles, peach black tea, flan, lemon cake, McDonald’s fries, and a bite of her Filet-o-Fish. All of these were delicious and some were things I had never tried before. 

After eating to my heart’s content, I would go back to studying for another hour before I needed another stretch break. However, there was this one time when I couldn’t stand up to stretch because the cafe was too crowded and I was scared that I would look weird and take up too much space. So instead of getting up to stretch, I stayed sitting raised my arms, and moved my back. I moved my head up, staring at the ceiling, and saw gray grids with vines sitting on the bars of metal. The contrasting colors caught my attention and on closer inspection, I realized the deceivingly healthy green vines were fake. They looked so pretty even though they were fake. I was surprised by this because whenever any fake products were mentioned throughout my life, it would usually be in the context where people would talk to shame the person owning the fake item. However, at this moment, I realized that the value and beauty of something shouldn’t be determined by the authenticity of it. 

It was a simple discovery at the time but it meant a lot at the time. The beautifully unreal plants that decorated the cafe ceiling were no less pretty because they were made out of plastic. The cafe was even prettier because they were fake. The blurred shine on the leaves and the perfectly coiled strings of the plant created a cozy and natural atmosphere that real plants most likely couldn’t replicate. And even though the world is filled with things considered fake, it is no less ugly as it is beautiful.

“By my side”

Sometimes I think of going back to my first neighborhood and seeing how life is there now. Life was so simple back then. I would go to school, play for a while, and come home again. But then the peace of the neighborhood would be broken by a gunshot. A loud gunshot. And that’s why we left. It was so scary as a little girl listening to all the loud cars and the loudspeakers. It was scary not seeing anyone similar to me. Nobody but my parents could speak my language, not even my brother. The streets were so scary. There was such a sense of family there with everyone trying to break everything. I was scared. 

“You are saying all the words I’m dreaming.” 

Most of the memories I have there are blurry and distorted from reality. Memories of playing with the layers of the palm tree in the front of the yard and hiding from the security cameras were all memories that I only remembered because of the pixelated pictures on my fridge, except for one. Inside my house, behind open doors and the dark spot of my living room was a girl dressed in white. She was nice and had beautiful hair. I saw her standing as she watched me look at her. She never spoke, never interrupted me, and never hated me. Sometimes I think about her and what she is doing now. I want to help her feel comfortable in the light so that she doesn’t have to always stand in the dark.

“Don’t go there ’cause you’ll never return. I know you think of me when you think of her.

But then it doesn’t make sense when you’re trying hard to do the right thing but without recompense.”

I was able to escape the neighborhood that brought me fear where people would tug on my ear until I couldn’t hear. I was able to escape and never return because of my new home, the place where I felt safe. I would like to do that for her too. She was a nice girl and I would like for her to have a place in this world. 

“I’ll pray for you all the time if I could be by your side.”