Mangoes by the alter

My mother was really religious. Though she never forced me or my sister into religion, although as a kid I always made an effort to try. I remember doing a lot of weird things, going to the temple, praying before bed, and counting a string of beads. But one thing that stuck with me was the colorful fruit offerings by the altar. I always thought they breathed life into the house and I enjoyed the fruit much more after they were blessed. Although my mother has passed, I’m happy that she has a place on the altar, and she can still enjoy the fruit that we offer her.

Water dispenser

Our family got our drinking water in gallons from a water dispenser near our house. Every week I’d walk with my mother to and from the house to buy a gallon of water. A gallon cost around a dollar at the time, and every week I’d scavenge around to get my hands on 4 quarters. I felt so proud of plopping my money into the machine and feeling like I had bought something for my mom like how she would buy things for me.

Rotten food 

Food rots fast. It feels like food rots even faster when you’re not looking. People can still eat rotten food but most people discard it when it’s past its prime. My mother always pretended not to notice and cut off the bad part. I guess she couldn’t do the same when her body started rotting away. 

Keys

I was one of those kids with keys around my neck. Monday through Sunday I’d bring myself home to an empty house. Food was in the fridge, and if not, I’d cook ready made noodles that I had hid in the cupboard. I had keys that were wrapped around an old pink lanyard that hung under my shirt around my neck. One day, my friend stopped to tell me that men follow girls home with keys around their neck. After that, I kept it under my shirt. That’s why I hid it. And that’s why I hide things.

Husband

“Choose your husband wisely” My mom would say to me. I don’t know what made me more sad, the fact that her warning came from a place of bad experience, or the thought of not having a husband was never an option to her. Through this book, I was reminded of how my mother grew up, and how she chose to raise me. The expectations of marriage and children that were pushed on her, were also subconsciously pushed on me as well.