I sat down at a nice table with a window view, Saturday morning, 11 AM inside a cafe waiting for my blueberry muffin, acai bowl, and Amelia to arrive. 

She came in wearing her best brunch dress. Hers was one of the floral ones girls wear, tight at the waist but loose around the legs, the neckline rather low, her tousled bob brushing her tan shoulders. 

“Hey girl, how ya doing?” She smiled. She came over and gave me a big hug. I hate it when people hug me. I grinned uncomfortably. 

We sat down facing each other, my order now before me. Amelia picked up the menu, and as she was looking over it, she said, “Do you know Shane?” 

“Huh? Yeah,” I replied, looking at my bowl like I was talking to it, “What about him?” 

Her dark blue eyes sparkled. “I think he likes me,” she gushed. 

Oh boy. 

“Remember when I told you he was talking with his friends then he looked up at me and smiled?” She put her hand on her cheek. “Lately he’s been looking at me a lot. Almost every time I walked down the hallway for the second period, he was looking at me. And during PE he would be talking to his friends, like in front of me, but he would always look back at me a lot, like short little glances because I was behind him.” 

This is like the 16TH guy she mentioned likes her. 

“He even started walking near me every time we had to get back into roll call order, he never did that before he talked with his friends and smiled that day.” 

Honey, who told you the delulu is the solulu?

“What about the time he called you a 2/10 in the back of the cardio room?” I pointed out. 

“Oh, I think that was Alvin, his friend. He’s the mean one. He made another one of his friends crush my water bottle outside, it was the LAST ONE out of the two I brought that day.” 

I opened my mouth to speak, but she started talking again. 

“Now that I think about it maybe he DID call me a 2 because the voice sounded similar to his actual voice, but even if he said that he’s an 8 so he needs me because I’m a 2 to complete him!” She sighed. “We’re literally soulmates. Anyways, while I was walking they were behind me and started laughing with each other because one of them said he wanted to smack me because he thought my booty was hot,” she giggled.

Excuse me, what did you just say….? Whatever girl mathing you’re doing, it ain’t mathing.  

“I think they were making FUN of you,” I said, “They didn’t seem like they had good intentions. I was walking beside you that day and I didn’t hear anything and neither did you, but they had this weird facial expression. I don’t think they were laughing because they thought you were hot…” 

A waiter came over to our table, and after he got her order, she continued, “He also did a ton of other things too, there were lots of signs.” 

What sign? Did you see the one that says Stop? 

“Um, ok, what else did he do?” 

 “For three weeks in a row we were always matching colors in our outfits! Like he wore black on Monday or Tuesday or something like that, I can’t remember—”

Yeah because everything revolves around you.

“–and I was wearing a black hoodie like he did! One time when I was volunteering for a school event he came out of the cafeteria wearing GREEN and I kid you not, I was wearing GREEN pants and bandana! When he wore a white hoodie I was wearing one too, I didn’t even plan this out, I just happened to pick clothes the same color as his! Like, it’s magic!” 

We were interrupted by another server who put her croissant and caramel macchiato in front of her. Finally. A moment of peace. Then I saw her about to open her mouth. This is my chance. 

“I think it was just a coincidence Amelia,” I chirped. “He wears the same colors pretty every week and you do too, so it’s inevitable that you would end up matching, even if it’s for 15 days in a row. Besides, there were times you and him didn’t match up anyway, like on another Monday, when you wore red and he wore black. He also wore black another day and you wore red.” 

When she was silent I continued, “I’m sure there is no need to read much into what he does. Remember when we were walking and Alvin said something and Shane looked back at you? That was a dirty look,” I said matter-of-factly. “He actually gave you one four times.” 

I leaned forward. “He also complained you can’t throw or do anything when you were on his basketball team. He was annoyed when you were playing a pickleball game against him, because you sucked, even though you weren’t playing with him. I was your partner for pickleball, I heard him say “oh my god” in exasperation.”

“Oh but—”

“BUT,” I interjected, Shane played a game he wasn’t supposed to be in because he wanted to help out help out Don, I think. I don’t know why he wanted to play in the pickleball finals because Don didn’t have a partner, but it doesn’t mean anything.” I shrugged and took a bite out of my muffin. “Maybe he got bored of always winning against his friends, but there’s no way to tell what he  wanted to do.” 

“Anyways,” I smiled, “Wanna hear what I did this weekend?”

For the rest of our time together at the cafe I dominated the conversation, chatting about the cruise I went on last summer, the cool jewelry and other goods I saw, as well as the landmarks I visited. Oh, and how funny my pomeranian has been, this cute guy I saw in Paris, that photo I posted the other day…

It was a great brunch.