Linh, my parents said as they quickly rushed to the airport, security screening my siblings. With tears in my eyes, this would be the last time I’d see my relatives, and not being able to come back to Viet Nam for a very long time and see the people I love in person, it would be hard since now it would just be video calls. My dad barely speaks English. He only knows the basics like help, restroom, here, etc. But he’s able to get us to every station to wait for our flight. It was rough since all of us were young. One vivid memory that I remember was my dad trying to say something to the police officer at the airport while my little brother was crying while my mom was trying to stop him from crying. My sister was mesmerized since she thought that was the coolest thing she had ever seen. There was a giant bear in the middle of the airport, and I wanted to know how to help my dad since I thought we were in trouble and might go to jail. But in the end, it was just the direction that the police officer was talking about. On our last flight from Phoenix to Albuquerque, I sat beside this elderly woman. She was reading a book so I wanted to try talking to her but I only knew so much. She gave me a piece of candy, and that was when I thought American people were the nicest people ever. 

Our uncle picked us up from the airport and drove us to the house, it was not merely a big house compared to our house in Vietnam. Instead, it was a mobile home, but everyone was grateful for it since we were finally here in America. It was my first time to seeing all my uncles and aunts, especially my grandparents. All of them moved to America way before I was born. Going to Walmart to pick up school supplies was so different since there was a supplies list, and every single chip bag was big compared to the one we had. But when I first tried the chips it was horrible, either too salty or spicy.

Going to school was the hard part. I barely knew how to speak to people, and at recess, I usually sat on a bench by myself humming since that was all I could do, and sometimes I would think about one day I’d have friends too. In class, my teacher would tell people to come and help me, and I became friends with two of them. I didn’t know what to say so I would purposely make mistakes like confusing orange and apple for them to laugh. Later, in fourth grade, I would make an Asian accent for people to laugh at, so they would think of me as funny and let me join their zombie tag. In fifth grade, I was racist towards myself and put myself low to the point where other’s comments were racist. Being me I just took it as me being apart and fitting in. 

Middle school started, I was quieter since it was a new school, but then I matured enough to realize that all my elementary school years: I was humiliating myself simply to fit in. I met more people and made real friends, this time since my English improved a lot by then. They don’t make fun of me or say racist stuff. They value me for who I am instead of thinking I’m unaware so they can do whatever they want. COVID-19 started, I was isolating myself from everyone else. Besides the beginning of quarantine, I didn’t talk to any of my friends in school. So I started making friends online on games I enjoy playing. Everyone showed me that I can be loved for who I am not because of my ethnicity.

As news started to go around about everyone violently discriminating against Asian Americans, and later on, including deaths. Just all because they think that “Chinese people started COVID-19.” Going around everyone looked at my family and me as if we were “monsters”. Just like how one manga I recently read. “They Called Us Enemy.” It’s basically like we’re the bad ones and should be excluded. We are the cause of everything. This time it isn’t even one race, it affects all types of Asians and groups of them in one. “The Chinese.” Things did get better when Covid fell. But there were numerous deaths of innocent people caused by this event. 

My accent is one of my biggest insecurities, no matter how many years I spent trying to improve at speaking the language and writing. I will still get comments made about my accent. They would say that as an Asian I don’t speak English well. Start mocking the way I worded things and spoke. Do whatever they can just for a humorous laugh. I never learned how to deal with this stuff. I thought America was full of diversity. Only those who are closed-minded make it less diverse. I used to think my accent was bad and how it ruined me. I wish to take it away to have another accent. No matter how many people told me my accent was beautiful, and that I should embrace it. It’s easier said than done.

 I’m now a sophomore who moved here to California, racism occurred less than there was in my small town, Albuquerque. But still, there are insults and comments that are being made about me online in games and social media platforms. I learned not to care about it anymore and to be more mature. Since I truly believe everything happens for a reason, there’s no real way to stop racism. We just have to make less of it and think outside the bubble.