With 6 hours of sleep, 7.5 hours of school, 2 hours of tennis, and much more of studying, at 15 all I wanted to do was lay in bed and unwind on my phone. I get the feeling of being drained, tired, and lazy after countless hours of working. I get the feeling of struggling to push through the last tasks of the day. I get it now.

At the naive age of 7, I didn’t get it. Coming home from a simple day at school, I had nothing much to do. I was carefree and able to play as much as I wanted, do whatever I wanted, and whenever I wanted. My dad, who worked from home, was constantly at his desk, taking calls, or doing something productive. On the other hand, I always saw my mom on her phone whenever she got home from work. She always had youtube blasting throughout the house or talked on the phone with her friends for hours. 

One night, my mom was folding laundry and asked, “Can you help me? I’m so tired. I already do so much.” Tired? I thought. Ignorantly, I told her, “But you’re always on your phone. Daddy’s the one who is always working.” 

I didn’t understand all the sleepless nights and how draining the long hours of work really was. I regretted this statement, although I was young and didn’t get it. But I get it now. Nodding off in class. Coming home from school just to do more school work until late at night. I get it now.

Slipping Through My Fingers

The sun wasn’t even up by the time I got to school, carrying the heavy backpack that’s aching my back more and more everyday. After nodding off in my last few classes, I head off to the short, yet long, two hours of practice before I can finally leave the premises of the school campus. All I’m reminded of is how much I can improve both in academics and sports.

Some days are filled with grueling, long matches while others are filled with extra practice outside of school. By the time I get home, the sun isn’t even up anymore. I feel the need to efficiently eat and shower before ending up at my desk at last. Study, now I need to study. Cramming through the unpredictable assignments given by different classes each day, I could hear the clock ticking down in my head. Time was slipping through my fingers like sand. The moment of instant relief after crashing into my bed covered in blankets and pillows only lasts so long before I realize I’ll have to repeat it all again, and again, and again.