I didn’t think it would be so hard. Fitting in at an entirely new school? The ones with all the big, scary kids who fight and do drugs? It was already hard enough when I was coming from a private school, where almost everyone I knew decided to go to a private high school. With my phone that had a map of the school campus in one hand, and the other clutching the handle of my backpack, I was ready to start the new chapter of my life: freshman year of highschool. 

The first three days felt like hell. My stomach felt like it was churning every second of the day, my mouth clamped shut, never daring to open to say something, and my eyes stayed glued to the clocks in each classroom. What’s my next period? What time does this end? Will this teacher ever stop talking?

Then it was Monday, the start of a whole new week. I was ready to stay silent, unless I needed to say “here” when called on, for another several hours. 

“Do you think I could join your group?” 

“Yeah, of course!”

I had to break the ice. I had no choice. But I didn’t think asking to be in someone’s science group would easily give me two new friends–friends that I talked to every day for the rest of the year.

Then it was sophomore year.

“Hey, do you have a group yet?”

“No.” She said, shaking her head.

“Here, you can join mine!”

Laughing Brother

I never really saw my brother as a “friend.” As we grew older and he hit that awkward teenage stage, we stopped spending time together. I never heard him laugh unless he was on his phone, and I thought that I wasn’t funny enough for him. He would stay locked up inside his room, lights off with the sound of his gaming keyboard clacking. To me, he was just an extra person who seemed to take up another room in my house.

My mom often told me, “You should try spending time with him. He’s lonely.” I thought it was ridiculous. 

There was one day where I went to a fair back at my old middle school and I ran into a few of my brother’s friends. “Can you tell him I said hi? He hasn’t been answering my messages.” I felt an unusual pang in my chest. Those words felt like someone had hit my head to get my mind back on track.

When I got home, I passed along the message to my brother. For the first time in a while, he smiled and laughed. It felt like ever since that day, I had this strange urge to keep hearing him laugh. He’s now someone I talk to everyday—I make him laugh a lot too. I think he thinks I’m funny.