Depending on the day—I’ll tell you that my favorite color is yellow, bright as the sun—or neon green, burning with the intense vigor of life—you would tell, that I enjoy light-hearted colors. I may fancy a light blue as tranquil as the sky at noon, or a shade of tantalizing orange that reflects through the crowd.

However there is one color that I embrace—one color that I choose to represent myself at the core, beneath the bright and vibrant surface. It always circles back to blue—a deep vivid blue known as royal blue. 

The closest to ‘royalty’ I will ever be is a baron for my school, but from the ocean’s surface and the meadow’s flowers, it is the color of serenity. From the vast sky and deep sea, it is the color of loneliness. From its cool nature and intensity, it is the color of independence. From my heart and my world, it is the color of the silent tears that fall. From the light of our digital devices, it is the color of a programmer. From the jacket I wear everyday, it is my signature blue. 

I envy the bright colors that exist in the world. I follow and mimic them, but I can never truly escape the hue of melancholy. My favorite colors are my guiding light—the optimal example of life—just to keep me from drowning in darker shades of indigo. I thought I didn’t have to hold myself to a certain color. I tried reaching for the stars, putting on these vivid yellows, oranges, greens. But life always circled back to blue—I cannot change being a loner.

Unable to explain why, I am distanced by the azure sky—the deep sapphire ocean—apart from everyone else. I see more in those than I do in others. Perhaps I noticed the troubles of people, and felt too much empathy. It was dangerous, so I learned not to approach. But when I do commit to another, I battle fiercely by their side with all I have, following them through life like an angel. My loyalty can be endless, but it cannot be spared for everyone.

Standards have risen and maybe too much caution is being taken. My absence of friends speaks to that. It is undeniable that I am unhappy at times… these favorite colors are unrealistic—immortal—not representative of me and not like life. 

Royal blue is bold, but it remembers to not stray from mortality. The hue and depth of dark blue still holds true, however made as vibrant as possible. It is the balance in my soul which I do not show often, because I only want the best for others. It is not so bad to be who I am—I greatly appreciate the fervor and fortune I was blessed with in my life—it does not stop me from standing out. But it just leaves me wondering: is my life bound to be blue? In a world of warmth, my signature is delicate. In a world of coldness, it is powerful. It will be entirely up to the future, in the hands of fate.