“Something’s on my mind, always in my head space”
I’m always worrying about something…It’s usually about my future and how I’m going to get there. All the things I have to do to become the person who I want to be drowns me and I’m afraid I won’t make it out.
I want to already be at my destination, not trying to understand the map and wondering how I’m going to
go through all those mountains.
“Should I stop?”
I buried myself in my blankets and turned on sad music cause I was in that moment. Suddenly, happy songs filled my playlist and the thought of fun things swift over me with the beats-
things like going to school and being goofy with friends, study meets, the excitement of holidays and breaks, and things you can only do as kids.
I think of my destination–
Wearing heels, the jingling of car keys, driving to work, working with animals, meeting up with my childhood friends, visiting my home, saying
“I’m home, mom!”
and chatting with my parents and petting my dogs again.
All my negative thoughts die down.
The fear of failure, change, disappointment, and exhaustion holds me back but maybe if I start with what’s by my feet, it will be okay. Just one step at a time and not looking at everything I have to do.
“All of my doubts suddenly goes away somehow, one step closer.”