Sentimental Nostalgia

The Day Mommy Lied to Me

Today was the day. Today was the day of my surgery. I don’t know what was happening. I don’t even know what the word “surgery” means. I just kept hearing it over and over while Mommy and Daddy were talking to the doctors.

‘Mommy? What does “surgery” mean? And what will happen when I have “surgery?”’ I asked while I let go of her hand and looked up towards her.

“Oh… It means nothing really. All they are going to do is make you go to sleep for a bit and wake you up. That’s all, honey.” Mommy smiled at me as we edged closer to the hospital.

Laying on the hospital bed, in my new “pajamas” that the kind nurse gave to me, I played with Daddy’s phone and watched some Scooby Dooby Doo. I noticed that my parents were quieter than usual and it felt weird because I’m normally not allowed to play with any phone especially when it comes to just waiting around for some doctor. Whatever. All I want to do is just watch Scooby and his gang! 

The squeak of the doctor’s shoes distracted me from my Scooby Dooby Doo

“Mr. and Mrs. Bui may you please step outside for me. It’s about time…” said the doctor.

Both of my parents stared at the doctor for a good few seconds, smiled at me, and said bye-bye while hugging me tenderly. 

“Remember honey, all they’re going to do is put you to sleep for a bit and wake you up right after, okay.” My mommy sniffled and tears streamed down her face along with Daddy, but her makeup was all smeared and icky. And they proceeded to exit the room.

However… Mommy lied to me… She said that I was going to sleep for a bit and wake up… but I never did… I never woke up… I never should have trusted what mommy said to me… Part of me died that night. My trust breathed its last breath just like me.

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New Perspective

The clouds are cushiony, fluffy, and white. The enchanting sunlight gently grazed my delicate skin. The heavenly angels sang their harmonic prayers. True peace and true tranquility were only uncovered in this sanctuary. Yet, the memories distracted me from this pleasure. The memories that slowly grew distant from me. In spite of that, I grasped it and held its hands in mine, never wanting to let go. It was my only way of knowing who I was. Knowing the life that I live. It was the only way I was able to grow, seeing life in the eyes of the afterlife. 

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If Only They Knew

Those who saw us together think we are stupid and crazy. They think that we are just airheads who like to mess around all the time. They think we senselessly just roam through the halls laughing our heads off. They think we are obnoxious, with loud mouths needing to be duck taped. But that’s just what friends are called.

We have Amy, who always is the quietest one but always is the one with a devilish smirk to her face, ready to cause mischief. We have the chaotic Kris, who loves to draw and place stickers. He loves it so much that he is willing to draw on your face with permanent marker and place stickers everywhere on you while you fall asleep. We have Keira, she always seemed to be annoyed with us, yet she always comes to us and lets us annoy her. I know that she secretly likes it, but never tells us.

All laughs all around, we are friends. But watch us not give a care for anything in this world except each other. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes. But I don’t think so anymore because I’m not around. I wished that Mommy or Daddy told me that I might have no time left to be with my friends. What happened to them? What will they do when I’m gone? I don’t want them to cry over me. But I don’t want them to replace me… 

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Untuned Piano

The pitch was wrong. Every note I played was never crisp or clear. It was supposed to create a sweet harmony to the ears, yet the harmony inevitably felt distorted. The uncomfortable sound it produced didn’t stop me from playing the piano. It originated from my family generations and generations ago. My distorted, worn-out piano books still had the names, dates, and writings that dated back to when my aunties learned piano years and years ago. My tiny fingers only ran lightly over the keys because my hands were too young.  As I fiddled with its notes, my piano teacher would sing the harmonic melody of the song I played…

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the sky

I grew up wanting to be a pianist, having my loving, sweet piano teacher as my idol. But in the end, my dreams will go to their graves, once I went to mine.

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Truly Weak

After every lunch break, the school bells blared, “BRRING! BRRING! BRRING!” And immediately the teachers all gathered their students to run two laps around the soccer field and lunch tables. I always hated running. No matter how many times the teachers yelled at me. No matter how many times I was the last one on the field. All I did was take slow strolls. I never tried and I’ll never try. But one time I thought to myself, how about I run. How about I try to look like I’m like all the other kids. And so I did. Each step I took, I elongated my body towards the finish line. Step by step. Sprinting and dashing. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Sweat trickled down my face, as I hastened my speed and began to accelerate. Yet, my head began to spin. My body swelled and felt as if it was burning from the inside. A faint ringing in my ears and the rampant thudding in my heart became more vocal, screaming louder and louder as I lunged each step. Don’t give up! Don’t give up! This is normal when running. This is normal. This is normal? No matter how much I compelled myself to run, my body tumbled involuntarily without my permission. My vision dimmed, darker and darker until I found myself on top of the soft, luscious grass napping. I had a dream in that nap. A dream of finally sprinting toward the end of those two laps. Yet it got shortly interrupted by a doctor saying, “her heart murmur can be fatal…”

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