It’s okay not to be okay

Eddie was far away from home at this point; But at this point he wasn’t even sure if he could still

call that place a home. Now, Eddie was determined to start anew after all the chaos that had

occurred during the past few months. The fire, the screeching sirens, the blinding lights, the

whole world falling apart right at his very feet. He had left everything behind in that place and he

couldn’t afford to turn back any time soon. Though, there was some regret lingering inside and it

pained to see precious memories turned into nothing but ash and dirty grime. The pain in Eddie’s

heart was nowhere near fixed but it was getting there. Looking up towards the face of his new

house, he became determined to make a change. Despite the creepy setting of this entire place

and his mind yelling at him to run away, he refused to back down without a fight. This was his

first step toward the right thing. 

Well this is surely going to be interesting. 

Beautiful Days, Hungry Nights

I stretched my arms with a loud sigh. Writing does take a lot out of you, huh? I will take on today with full charge. I am hungry. I always liked to watch people eat when I’m hungry as if they were eating for me. Why do I put myself through this kind of torture all the time? Imagine being paid to eat food in front of the camera. Maybe I should just drop out of all this to play my chances at being a famous content creator–a very low chance but still–there is a chance. Dropping the subject, I simply go back to watching those

food videos. 

Creative Title Here

It was almost midnight when I typed in those last words. I always told myself that I wasn’t a

creative person and I know that because honestly, my life isn’t all that interesting. I exaggerate

so many things. I lie to myself. But that’s ok. I don’t mind.

Sometimes, I can’t help but want something more but I’m not really sure what that is just yet.

Can’t spend too much time hoping for things that won’t happen, right? At least that’s what

everyone says.

My mother always told me that I’m slow—that I’m wasting too much time for myself. What she

doesn’t know is that my time is filled with so much worry for upcoming exams to even care about

that. I guess it’s because nobody really pays attention since I usually hide in my room away from

other people. Whatever, maybe when I think about it some more I can come up with a decent

title for this chapter. 

Beautiful Agony

When I was seven years old, my aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I could only watch

her struggle as she fought hard to keep a smile on her face. Unfortunately, after a long fight, she

lost the battle and at that moment it was the first and only time I saw my mother cry. From then

on, I knew that I didn’t want to be someone who could do nothing to change this fate. I no longer

wanted to stand by the sidelines as I misunderstood how this disease can so easily take away

someone’s life. I never want to have that feeling again. If only I could do something about it, then

I won’t let this hope be diminished for nothing…

Reaching

Stepping off into another day in this vast world of judgment and all I could think about at the moment was how much I just wanted to go home—to feel the soft green of my couch and see the four walls of pink enveloping my room. I want to run away from their burning eyes and hide my face in the shadows, never to come out again. I want to drown in my own thoughts and constantly hope that everything will be okay the next day. Either way truly, I could never be perfect in their eyes, no matter how hard I try because every time I attempt to climb that ladder, the end will keep stretching further away from reach, adding more pressure into my already aching arms until it becomes too much and I just let go. My hopes are crushed within seconds and what’s left is this awful gut feeling of despair. But, when that happens I look at the tree outside my window. It’s very tiny and barely blooms any flowers yet, it’s so full of life that I can’t help but cheer the tree on so that one day, it will reach it’s true potential. At that moment I always remember the idea of “perfection” does not exist—it is something that we made up. Everyday, I become more aware and observant about the people around me as well. My family and friends, I love all their uniqueness and imperfections. Well, maybe not all of them but still, it’s reassuring. In other words, when times are low I’ll keep trying for them and for myself because as I cheer them on, I know they will do the same in return. 

It’s Ok to say Goodbye Sometimes