Home is Where Your Heart Is

People think home is where we live. The place we spend the majority of our time. The place that holds our room and our bed. In reality, that is very unrealistic. Some people don’t have a home. Some people do not feel safe at their said home. I think the definition of home is where one feels safe and comfortable. Home should not be a place that you dread going to. It might even be a place you barely go, but it truly feels like your home.

Personally, I feel like I have a couple places that feel like home. The first place is the beach. I have lived in Huntington Beach my whole life. That meant growing up going to the beach a lot during the summer. As I grew up, the more I grew to love the beach and the ocean. I find peace in the sound of the waves. I find peace in the sight of the sunset as it goes behind the water. Everything about the beach brings me peace and makes me truly happy. Whether I’m by myself or with a lot of people it will forever hold a special place in my heart. Some of my greatest memories were at the beach, which is also why I believe that it truly is my home. When I’m at the beach I feel free and unjudged. There’s so many people and I know they aren’t paying attention to me, so I just feel extra comfortable.

Another place that feels like home to me is when I’m with my best friend, Becca. Saying that home is when you are with a person might seem a little different or odd, but it is a normal feeling for many people. As I grew up I had many best friends, but going into high school, I didn’t really have one person to call my best friend. I went through ups and downs with many different people and friend groups, but I finally found the group I felt welcomed in and along with that came meeting Becca. Since the first day I met Becca I knew she really cared about me, and I cared about her too. I had known her for a few years before that, but we had never been close. We got along very well and she brought me the comfort I was missing. Hanging out with her brings me complete joy and I feel nothing but happiness when I’m with her. She knows me and I know her. She is like a sister to me and that is why I feel at home whenever I am with her. 

It might take time to find your real home, but there is a place or person for everyone. Having a place that makes you feel at home is very important. You can escape to this home when you feel lost or hopeless or sad. It is a place of comfort and everyone deserves to have one. 

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Drifting

Being on this earth for 15 years has brought me a lot of different experiences with people, places, and things. The ones that have had the biggest effect on me have been the experiences with people. I had lots of friends in preschool, but I had my first best friend in Kindergarten. Her name was Maddie and she was like a sister to me. Her mom was a second mother to me and treated me like her own. We hung out so much, spent the summers together, and I really saw her as a sister. Throughout elementary school we hung out with each other at recess, at lunch, and even after school. Those five years with her were the best years of our friendship. We were so carefree and we had so much in common. We are only three days apart and for that reason we thought we were destined to be best friends forever. Unfortunately, people drift and things change.

Middle school was a new time for us. It meant new people and new commitments. She had made the cheer team and I was doing soccer outside of school. We had different groups of friends we hung out with and we started hanging out with them more than each other. Our bond was still close. We texted each other and hung out sometimes outside of school, but seeing her hangout with her little group of friends was hard to adjust to even though I knew I had my little group too. Our bond was a little weaker but we still were pretty close through sixth and seventh grade. Eighth grade and then on was when the real drift happened. We did not hang out or talk nearly as much. Our bond still felt strong throughout that school year, but we started taking interest in other things. She started hanging out with her older sister more and was being influenced by her while the people I hung influenced me in other ways. Summer going into Freshman year we got into an argument and after that we lost our bond and don’t really talk anymore. We will wave to each other every once in a while and my mom is still friends with her mom, but we drifted. I think people are put in your life for a reason and she brought me so many memories, but it was time to go our separate ways because we were growing up and maturing at different rates.

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Strength In People

Growing up I went through a lot. With lots of moving and divorced parents, I had a lot of hard times that I had to get through. I had a hard time finding strength through myself so I went to people. It got the hardest in middle school. Luckily, that’s when I started to find myself and find the environment that I felt truly comfortable in. This environment was a church. I started going to youth group on Tuesday nights and soon fell in love with it. Although I was still shy and did a lot to get where I am today, the people I met there made me realize that I could get through anything. 

It took me about two years to finally feel in place and step out of my comfort zone and involve myself with the people around me. A lot of them went to other middle schools, but I knew the majority of them would be going to the same high school as me, so I started to include myself more. I grew really close to a few of them and the summer going into freshman year I found my people. Little did I know that the summer camp I went to with them would change my life forever and for the better. I had never felt more welcomed and many great memories and friendships were made. I started to not only grow more confident in myself but more confident in my friendships with others. Whenever I was going through a hard time I finally felt like I had people I could talk to about it. I wasn’t ashamed to speak up in front of them. I found my real strength through them. 

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Finding Self Love

Growing up in many different houses was very hard. It took a toll on my mental health and I never felt completely settled anywhere. It impacted how I saw myself and it was not healthy. I needed to change that, but during these times I only felt like I had myself. I couldn’t open up to my friends or family very well, so I started doing things for myself. I found things that made me feel good. I found things that kept me out of my head. I found people that made me feel comfortable and at home. 

Throughout childhood I never had to deal with this. I went out with my friends and went to school without a care in the world. Thoughts like I feel like they’re making fun of me or People are definitely staring right now weren’t filling my mind constantly. It was hard to find real self love. A lot of good days and bad days happened to get me to where I am now. Throughout that time period of finding real self love, I realized that I only live one life, and I shouldn’t spend that time worrying about what other people might think of me. All I care about is being me and being the person that makes me proud and doing things that keep me happy.

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A Good Dream

As a kid I always wanted to live in Hawaii. Like every other kid’s dream, I knew Hawaii was exactly what I wanted. Anywhere away from California. A new beginning. A new start. A place that had a lot of my favorite things. Sunshine. Beaches. Greenery. I loved all of it. My Dad was born in Hawaii because his Dad was stationed there in the navy for a while. Growing up by the beach made me realize that that was where I belonged. I think about it everyday, waiting for the day I can live out my dream. Waking up to the sun shining feeling at home in the tropical environment. Getting up and spending my day in the water, out in the sun, living my best life. The dream that I hope will one day become a reality. 

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