As a high school sophomore, I am constantly asked what I want to do after high school; what I want to do with the rest of my life. But that’s not a choice I can just make. My parents, teachers, and everyone else in my life set high expectations, but why is this the only thing people talk to me about anymore? Family functions, café meet-ups, or even just sitting to eat dinner at home; all of my daily conversations revolve around THIS. So, like anyone would do, I started thinking. What did I want my life to look like in ten years? Twenty? Perhaps the rest of my life? 

This is a thought I’ve been pondering for the last two years, and I’ve realized I don’t have very high expectations of my future. I don’t have an ideal career path or a big dream. When I think of the future, I only see something simple, and potentially attainable. The only thing I want out of life is a little house with wainscotting and the financial stability to shop at Crate & Barrel. Looking at it, this doesn’t seem like the dream of a 15-year-old girl, but of a lonely woman in her thirties. Depressing, I know.

All my life, I’ve been told I was “too mature for my age”, and that my personality was that of an adult. However, it’s incredibly frustrating that while I have the mind and awareness for adulthood, I’m stuck here. I don’t want to be thinking about where to go to college, I want to be out of school and living life. REAL LIFE. But that’s not possible, so like anyone who feels stuck, I seek an escape. 

For the past few years, I’ve been using books as an escape from reality. I immerse myself in worlds of fiction, of fantasy. But all stories come to an end, and mine must go on. Today, I scrape by and live for the lives I experience in books, while I wait for the little house with the wainscoting.

*The picture above is of one of my best friends, who often embarks on these literary journeys with me.