The sky is clouded; it’s a dark day. The birds are squawking; it’s a stressful day. The sun is burning; it’s a miserable day. This is the description of an average day in the life of a human. Darkness, stress, and misery. And oftentimes, these feelings manifest themselves in hatred, in violence, and in feelings of desperation and hopelessness. But humans want to be happy. Every choice that is made has some sort of gain in mind, whether bodily, emotional, or material. But it never feels like enough.

For all the handbags, luxury cars, and designer jeans many people invest in, their brief moments of satisfaction are effectively shattered by single pieces of bad news that come with being a human. But bad news does not make a bad day, nor do bad days make a bad life. Struggles are worth overcoming because happiness can really just come from gratitude, a positive attitude, and self-awareness.

In all relationships, gratitude is a crucial foundation that the relationship must be built upon. It is impossible to enjoy a happy, healthy relationship when every moment is shrouded by doubt, fear, and faults instead of unrelenting love. Without surrendering doubt for gratitude, a relationship will quickly crumble to the ground.

This idea is profound in William Shakespeare’s play Othello, in which the protagonist Othello kills his wife, claiming that she was “like a liar gone to burning hell” for her supposed infidelity despite lacking concrete proof. In reality, his wife was innocent, and their once perfect marriage collapsed into misery and bloodshed. Had Othello recognized all the things he loved about his wife beyond his doubt, he would have enjoyed a happy life with her; instead, each of their final days were plagued with confusion, hurt, and grief. He failed to be grateful for the good things but obsessed over the potential negatives.

Even though tough times are a given in life, the way individuals respond to the sorrow and fear is what determines their satisfaction with life. Many people, especially in today’s world, resort to expressing their frustrations and grievances through violent hatred. In the wake of this violence, however, other people, sometimes the victims of this violence, give a more powerful response: art. Instead of reacting to grief with wrathful fury, many individuals peacefully call for positive change through art. After the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, musical artists like Lupe Fiasco took to the studios to call attention to the injustice of this tragedy. In collaboration with sneaker designer Virgil Abloh, Fiasco takes an item as simple as a shoe and makes it into a metaphor for something greater and more meaningful in his song “Shoes.” This is what life is all about: appreciating the little details, the intricacies of the ordinary, and recognizing them as a way to bring about positive change. Nothing is more beautifully human than taking a negative situation and looking for something good out of it. Or, better yet, making something good out of it. That is true happiness.

In my journey to finding my own happiness, I learned that self-awareness and reflection are very valuable in recognizing the joy of everyday life. I thought hard about the best days of my life, and what made them so great in my memory. That is when I realized what they all had in common: they were all just ordinary days. From quietly watching rain through a window to hanging (and breaking) ornaments on the Christmas tree, it hit me that the moments I cherish most in my life were so basic; in those times, I never recognized that I was happy. This concept is almost similar to the Dunning Kruger effect in which an individual does not have the capacity to comprehend the extent of what they do not know. I was never able to feel contentment in life because I didn’t recognize when I was happy. After I found noticing my own day-to-day joy makes me feel more satisfied with life overall, I truly began to appreciate how helpful metacognition is. Knowing that one is happy is just as important as the happiness itself. It can help fuel the aforementioned gratitude and positivity, which contribute to even more happiness. 

This is the goal of humanity. It’s this insatiable hunger for some intangible concept that drives every path. It always seems like a distant star in the night sky when, in reality, it’s as close as the summer sun. So, even during trying times and emotional lows, there are still so many reasons to be happy in life. Sometimes, it is a matter of deciding to focus on the good. Other times, it’s about making the best of a situation. And still other times, happiness comes from reflection and personal growth. But no matter what, happiness is out there. After all, the sky is cloudy; it’s a cool day. The birds are chirping; it’s a calm day. The sun is shining— what a beautiful day.

Photo from the U.S. National Park service – Sunrise and Sunset in Death Valley