Uninvited Guests

It was a hot summer day, and I was absolutely parched. I ventured over to the fridge to grab an ice cold beverage. Much to my dismay, I encountered uninvited guests in the kitchen who had helped themselves to my leftovers from lunch.

“Hey, I was gonna finish that! You’ve gotta ask before you take anything from me!”

They continued their feasting without any acknowledgement of me or my words.

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

Still seemingly unaware of anything around them, I sought to grab their attention by waving my hand in front of them. This seemed to have worked as they stopped eating and actually scurried away entirely. Unfortunately, those guests appeared rather dirty and ate like barbarians, so I chose to throw away the rest of my food. Now they were out of sight, but I knew that those brats would continue to be a nuisance during their stay.

I proceeded about the rest of my day, occasionally observing the guests aimlessly wandering about my house and once even forming a conga line. How fun! Although, when I tried to join in, they stopped their dance, clung to me, and even bit me! Those guests were unbelievably selfish and immature, like misbehaved children. Remembering my mother’s method of setting me straight when I was a youth, I grabbed my flip flop and went about disciplining those children by smacking them squarely. Her method proved effective once again as they quit their shenanigans and deeply bowed down to me in respect. However, that respect didn’t last.

Whenever I used the bathroom, they would always accompany me and bite my feet or mess with my towel. Time and time again, I had to teach them some manners with my flip flop, yet their misbehavior never seemed to stop no matter how much I tried to correct it. Left with no other choice, I resorted to calling the professionals to deal with those rapscallions. Thankfully, those lifesavers resolved my troubles by poisoning those bastard guests. Of course! I should have thought of that! With my home once again all to myself, I could now enjoy peace of mind and live happily ever after.

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