In my life, there are only a few things I hate, and lying is definitely one of them. Being lied to or having to lie inevitably sucks. We hear about ten – 200 lies a day and we are just used to it. We see lies, hear lies, and tell lies, everyone does. Some people are on the range of telling 200 lies a day and they’re okay with that, I’m not. I wish everyone could be honest and be closer to ten a day. For people to be closer to ten or none, they need to understand why we lie, how to stop lying so much, and the mannerisms of a liar.
There are multiple reasons why someone would feel the need to lie. The most common reasons are self-defense, to protect feelings, to keep a secret, to be liked, or to keep a good image of a person; mostly one’s self. I believe that keeping a good image and being liked is the biggest cause of lying. Everyone wants to be liked and being part of a group is important, lying comes in when people want to be accepted. Someone might agree or disagree with something that they don’t believe because they want to be a part of something, like a group. Wanting to be liked is usually alongside trying to keep a good image of yourself or making what you think a good image is. People might want to keep a good image with work, friends, family, school, or anywhere really. Let’s say you are hanging out with some new friends, they don’t know a lot about you and you want to make a good first impression. What are you going to do? Most of the time, the answer is to lie. Lying helps make your life seem the best ever, or maybe to over-exaggerate the little things, or even make it sad to get attention. There are many ways you can go with this.
Liars or someone who is lying have many of the same mannerisms. If you know what they usually do, you can figure out if someone is lying to you or not. Some indicators of a liar are being vague, explaining little to no details, repeating questions, speaking in sentence fragments, failing to connect the story to real facts, physical behaviors, and changes. If you are trying to figure out if a story is honest or not, focus on the details, ask questions, and see their reactions. If you want to specifically know the truth, ask them to reverse their story and see if you get the same facts or new ones. When someone is lying this is usually very hard for someone to do. The person telling the story may seem very unsure of themselves which may give it away but on the other hand, they may be very sure and it can still be a lie.
A big part of stopping lying is knowing how to stop. There are steps you can take to help yourself not lie as much or just to be honest with yourself about lying. Admitting you have a problem or trying to figure out what pressures you into lying is usually the first step. This can go in many different ways depending on you and your situation, just realizing the lying is a good start. You also have to remind yourself how lying messes up and drastically changes your life. The next step you could take is to tell someone when you lie and to always be realistic about what you promise and say to others. Keeping up with your promises and being open about lying can always help it get better. The last step is just to practice telling the truth and being honest with people and yourself. It might take a while to see a change with what you say but taking your time and always being honest will make the difference. Together we can stop lying and have an honest community where we don’t need to worry about if someone is telling the truth.