A+

In a student’s eyes, As are all that matter in our life. Especially when so many other brilliant people surround us, we feel the need for perfection that places us in a chokehold. In some cases, the desire for the best grades and the feeling of accomplishment when we achieve those grades is the only thing keeping us alive. I mean, it feels good when you work for something, and it pays off. Unfortunately, this feeling of ecstasy can be an addiction; an addiction that drives students to the limits of their minds and body. Many are willing to do whatever it takes, even selling their left kidney, just to receive an A in a class. Grades and academic achievements are of a higher priority to their well-being and the rush of receiving grades they want feels priceless. In my personal experience, I don’t believe that I have had a proper dinner each time I have a test the next day. Although it is unhealthy, I do not regret choosing to study for my tests to try to get a better grade. 

The pressure from parents, classmates, the future, and ultimately, yourself can restrain your mind like a bag of weights. For some, their self-worth only amounts to the numbers on a Canvas page. Reloading and reloading, looking to see if their grades have changed at all for hours at a time. These mentally and physically draining habits are difficult to break. When you don’t achieve those academic expectations, you can feel one of the most “insidious of human anxieties, the one that says, you do not belong here, you are unnecessary.” It’s hard to stop caring about something when you have depended on it to feel alive your entire life. 

When someone feels that their grades are the only thing they are good at, and it drops, the overwhelming emotions of desperation and depression intensify. Sometimes, they feel like they are “on the roof’s edge” and they are “willing to trade one kingdom for another”. What are they living for if their grades aren’t flawless? What is the point? And when someone tells them that grades aren’t everything or that it won’t kill you, maybe to them, it will. So they continue to deteriorate their stability for one more ounce of validation and study until they “wilt in the long day” and shatter.