Deja Vu: Anecdotes

The calming, azure pool allured me.  The cool summer breeze gently stroked my arms and legs, beckoning me further.  Beckoning me inside.  Before I knew it, my legs propelled me inside, giving way to the fear and hesitation brewing inside of me.  I was going to wait no further.Cool, cool water enveloped me as I plunged into the azure portal.  Finally. The occasional coos of the crows and cheers from the neighbors were immediately deafened as I immersed myself in the crystal clear bed.  No more gravity.  No more weight.  Just me.  Free.  My long, black hair gracefully swayed to the rhythm of the waves.  My weight, alleviated by the grace of the cool, cool water.  No more weight.  No more weight.

3.  2.  1.  You may start.  Suddenly, the world went quiet.  Subtle clicks of pencils scratching the desks and the anxious tapping of feet were the only things to entertain my exhausted, utterly confused head.  Trembling, my dry, worn fingers gripped the ominous exam paper that loomed before me.  My frigid, small hand spiders.  Some stroking the foreign symbols on the paper, some waltzing with my shiny Dixon Ticonderoga pencil, all working hard to waste time.  My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to search my mind for something.  Anything.  Anything I’ve learned from these last arduous months

There’s no time.  The clock is ticking.Clumsily, my pencil raced across the paper faster than my mind could comprehend.  I could feel my heart thumping inside of me.  It felt like it could explode at any moment, as I tried to desperately scribble anything I remembered onto my answer sheet.  Factor this out.  Simplify.  I braced myself for the inevitable that was waiting for me.  It was a race against time: the perpetual ticks of the evil clock defeating my petrified self.  Tick.  Tock.  Tick.  Tock.Boom.  Boom.  Suddenly, the world chattered once more.  It was I who was silent.

Finally.  At exactly 7:34 pm, the dark world was set ablaze with vibrant, neon flashing lights.  Suddenly, the stadium erupted in cheers as the exuberant fans swung their rainbow light sticks to the thrilling music.  Hands flew up into the air and swung to side and side.  This is it.  Large, bright streams of fire leapt across the stage as two massive iron leopards emerged onto the stage.  Any moment now… My older cousin squealed and jumped with delight as we embraced each other.  My grin stretched from ear to ear.  I felt elated that she was able to come with me.

After (what seemed to be) long moments of jumping and anticipation, the leopards parted.  The stadium erupted into cheers once more, but even louder this time as seven handsome young men appeared.  They all gazed confidently into the camera.  The subtle yet booming beat of the bass matched the thumping of my heart.

The frenzied fans chanted the supergroup’s name as they anxiously awaited the start of the first number.  My phone trembled in my excited hands as I joined in the shrieking.  My hands gave in to the burning temptation and flew free from my sides, flailing around in the air like ribbons.“Are you ready, ARMY?”  the leader, RM, shouted to the audience as they screamed back in return.  It was time.

that’s obviously me in the middle

Over.  Under.  Over.  Under.

Tenderly, the strands of ribbon slipped under my fingers like sand.  The brilliant colorful strands of velvety fabric escaped my fingers.  Over and under.  Over and under they went.  That monotonous but graceful choreography, all meticulously concocting a tiny, colorful potholder.  The magenta sky and setting orange sun illuminated my window as a cool wind gently ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek.

Over.  Under.  Over.  Under.

I took another sip of my creamy matcha milk tea with honey boba.  I nibbled on the chewy boba pearls and resumed my craft.  Pulling the threads off of the loom progressively worked my fingers as they tried their hardest to pull and pull.

Over.  Under.  Over.  Under.

After a few more loops, I gingerly pulled the potholder off of the loom and slipped the last thread through the hole, making a handle.  Finally.  A beautiful, rainbow patch.  All made with the perpetual rhythm of:

Over.  Under.  Over.  Under.

It was warm.  It was soft.  My cousin’s embrace was the same as I’ve remembered before: it made you feel like you were enveloped in a warm, fluffy blanket.  I couldn’t hold back the searing tears anymore.  They poured like heavy rain onto her soft, signature purple shirt.  We broke the embrace and looked at each other.  I couldn’t see it, but she was smiling.  I could feel her soft gaze radiating down on me like the sun.

“Hey, I wanted to give you something!  Put it in your suitcase.” she piped as she ran off to her room.

She returned with a purple and pink bracelet rubber loom bracelet.  Attached to it was half of a golden heart charm.  Clutching my wrist gently, she fit the bracelet onto my hand and patted it.

“Never lose this, ok?  I have one too.” she held up her own wrist to show a matching purple and pink bracelet.  The other half of the golden heart was attached to it.  We attached our charms together to create one shiny golden heart.  I looked away.  I wanted to thank her, but a heavy pain lingered in my throat.  I gulped and hugged her again, averting my gaze the whole time from her.  She hugged back.

“See you soon, partner.  We’ll keep in touch until next time,” she whispered, tapping my shoulder again.  And I could still feel that radiant smile shining down on me.

The road from Las Vegas to home long, but our bonds as cousins conquered any distance.

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