Why is it so difficult to reject others’ opinions?

It’s like falling in love with a war; the one that leaves behind rough scars and vulnerable skin. The one that can shift in an instant without warning. The one that you can not control, and the one that can kill you. Fundamentally, opinions on their own aren’t supposed to be evil. A thought without action is not evil. However, when someone chooses to use their mouth as a sharp sword to strike down others, it becomes evil. Everyone knows that these opinions are catastrophic and dangerous, yet they are the ones that people tend to influence people the most. Why?

If you have certain feelings toward something, it becomes an opinion. There are opinions that uplift you and make you feel better, though they may not always be most helpful. There are opinions that can improve you. There are opinions that are arbitrary and opinions that are boring. In some settings, it is important to take in the opinions of others. Success does come from collaboration and the implementation of others’ ideas. These ideas are formed from positive opinions. Opinions are also used to criticize your hard work, your body, and your intellect. Sure, sometimes it is necessary to hear the harsh truth. But when it begins to plant a seed of doubt that forces you to question your self worth, you are faced with a few questions. Are these feelings formed from malicious intent? Are these words used to harm or help you? Then, you are faced with a choice. Will you choose to accept or reject someones’ opinions? Logically, if there was any chance that those words were meant to harm you, everyone would choose to reject them. Realistically, most people would pretend to reject them, but the seed will bloom and grow into an impenetrable fortress. They tend to forget the sight of a beautiful, gentle sea and focus on the salt it carries. 

I think everyone wants to feel validated by others, and when you receive hateful comments, it can break your spirit. People want to be validated because it’s like an artificial shot of confidence and self esteem. I know for me, I rely a lot on academic validation from my peers and teachers to make me feel more confident in myself. People with a lack of support or a strong, emotional foundation gravitate towards other people’s feelings instead of relying on their own emotions. Positive comments and words make people feel worthy, so without that validation, people can feel unworthy and ultimately, break. However, we latch onto this feeling of unworthiness and these words because for most people, it’s unfamiliar. A glimpse of unfamiliarity entices you, and makes you want and question more. It’s more valuable because these opinions come by more unusually. But, this feeling will crush you, and you begin to doubt everything; your goals, achievements, and even your existence. Without that emotional foundation, these comments linger with you whenever you do anything. You are not prepared, so it cuts you deep. And those words ring like an alarm you can’t snooze. It doesn’t affect anyone else except for yourself. Someone else’s opinions only hurt yourself. It is merciless. 

 I also think that some people really depend on others’ thoughts and rely so heavily on them to dictate their own lives. I mean, it’s scary trusting your own gut and having someone to lean on is so much more comforting. Being inside your own comfort zone is a lot easier than being outside it (obviously). So, you learn to accept everyone’s point of view in order to stay in that comfort zone, even if it is negative or harmful. However, like stated before, taking in those negative thoughts only lead to your own suffering. But, because it’s comfortable, you continue to accept them. This vicious cycle makes your comfort zone not even comfortable anymore. Maybe falling in love with others’ opinions shouldn’t be something that you consider comfortable. 

We have come to a point where it is important to understand that we can not control the way others feel about us and how far we have come. Receiving negative and hurtful comments can be heart wrenching, but we can not change others’ behaviors. Though it’s really corny, we can control how we react to these words. It will scar you, but do not let those scars define you or your self worth. When you listen to others’ opinions like they are god, nothing you do now and in the future will ever be good enough for them. Be enough for yourself. I’m not saying to completely ignore every negative opinion, because realistically, that won’t help you grow. Take each opinion with a grain of salt, be careful with which ones you choose to accept. Reject the ones that will not help you, positive or negative. By doing so, you will be more knowledgeable and look at your own worth with much kinder, child-like eyes. 

This content creator, Madilyn Bailey, decided to make something beautiful out of the ugliness of her hateful comments.

3 thoughts on “Why is it so difficult to reject others’ opinions?

  1. Your intro is really attention grabbing! It drew me into your post. And yeah, I agree that trying to be comfortable with yourself and not others’ validation is difficult and a relatable topic. What you said about choosing which opinions to take seriously and which ones to ignore is really helpful to me.


  2. I absolutely love the way you addressed this topic and find your words here very helpful in dealing with my own struggles. Your writing style is also very admirable. To expand the conversation, why do some become so obsessed with other people’s opinions? I would love to hear about your insights!


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