Mi Braino es no Bueno

Life is so fast-paced;
Who’s going to stop and watch the stars

This school year has been a rush so far. Who knows what’s going to happen? Why do I feel like the world is moving faster than I can breathe? I’ve been asked by many people if I am okay. Why wouldn’t I be? What would make it so I cannot function? I don’t know but I’ve reached a breaking point. I’m done. I don’t care what you say to me, what you want me to say, or what I’m told to do. Saturate, popularize, and keep with a trend; why are we obsessed with things that don’t matter? I’m thinking of my future before I think of my present. Where’s my childhood headspace, “Live in the Moment”? It was what we were told but how can we do it when we’re stuck in a cycle of doing what we don’t love so our futures will be better? To truly “Live in the Moment” is to not care what others think of you. If you don’t care what people think of you, you have become an outcast.

In my first English unit this year, we’re making ourselves; ‘You Make You.’ When we started I thought I had to show the people in my class what I had grown into. Who I had created from years of being… well just BEING. Being the kid who loved chicken, but hated all other meats. Being the kid who went out of his way to give everyone he could a high five, just because. Being the kid who could go to anyone and give them a compliment, because he wanted them to have a good day. I didn’t realize in my first three weeks of school I would see problems with myself. Who I had become may have been great but I could be even better. This school year I want to carry what I’ve started in this unit, reform myself, and become someone better. Keeping what I love about myself and changing those things which I don’t love. Those things that may have been good, could become better. I’ve learned what rap is, how to study, and how to use my anger without hurting others to play better in a game. I’ve made new friends, and new connections, and learned to love new hobbies.

Basically what I’m saying (in a mixed signal, idek what’s going on kind of way) is, I’ll slow down so the world doesn’t have to. I can’t wait for my English class and all my other classes. I CAN’T WAIT TO LIVE! In fact, I CAN’T WAIT TO LEARN! I don’t care who hears that, I might go scream that in the park ’cause typing it felt awesome. I can’t wait to help my classmates learn. I can’t wait to help my siblings, my friends, and my family, live. I want a new headspace; “Go Out and Live.”

I want to lay down and let the world move.

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