Falling into Failure

Pressure is my enemy, it is an imaginary stake that absolutely everyone puts on themselves in order to complete a goal. It knocks at the gates of my mind and taunts me every chance it gets. Through parental figures, or friends I have known for many years, I should be comfortable performing in front of them, but for some unknown reason, I am not. I let the Pressure change the way I act and stop me from even attempting the things I wish to proceed with. Even when I face the odds and weigh the chances of possible success, I seem to always take a second to rethink myself. Despite this heavy weight that I haul on my shoulders everywhere I go, I am not scared of Pressure. It holds me back and drags me down to the point of giving up, but I am not scared of Pressure. I am afraid of its outcomes. Failure is Pressure’s

meaner, bigger brother that, unlike pressure, has consequences and can be painful. It is no longer imaginary or something you can just run away from; it follows, pushes you around, and torments my everyday life. The worst part about Failure and Pressure is that they are a dynamic duo. While Pressure distracts me from a situation, Failure finishes the job to crack the walls of my mind. In a way, Pressure uses his words and intimidates a situation while Failure follows through with what was said. Once these two get their rhythm and do their damage, it only gets worse and worse into a cycle of endless beating. It represents someone pushing you down the stairs and you can’t help but tumble with the momentum and succumb to the gravity until someone stops you from the roll.

Recently in my personal life, I’ve been dealing with Pressure and Failure beating at me every day. With my grades, anyone can tell from a mile away that the two had shattered my mind. You can almost hear the thuds of every step having its effect on me as I gain speed as I shoot down the endless flight.

As of now, I have another challenge being faced. There is this very important person to me that I am about to go to my high school dance with and to the movies, and Pressure is whispering in my ears about what can go wrong. Realizing the insignificance of the wrong, I’m learning from my mistakes and am not gonna let them affect me. He is all bark and no bite.

Something I’m using to deal with this situation is distractions. With the help of nature, I have realized that whatever happens, happens. Whether it be in my favor or not, I understand that I must accept the outcome maturely and grow up. This connection of maturing and developing as a human can be seen as a sapling growing into a tree. Starting off small in this world, the sapling is minuscule and hasn’t experienced anything. With time and energy, the tree becomes older and wiser, becoming less fragile and more durable. Every experience it encounters allows for a tougher build and thicker shell.

Equally as effective, music and positivity have also had a great toll on me. Having the assurance of a friend giving advice, being proud, or hyping you on means the world to me. It pummels Pressure to a pulp and with that, Failure has no direction or plan. The hero to my story of the related Failure and Pressure comes from the people I surround myself with. They guard my mind with confidence and hope that repair the damage of the crack. Every layer of new plaster only adds a layer of resilience that I dare Failure to break through again.

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