Most people that get to know me label me as dramatic. It’s ironic how you can be so expressive of your emotions, and yet be so incapable of actually expressing your issues. The thing about music is that it provides a comfort that is inimitable. It is an outlet for my emotions that I simply don’t know how to voice out. I have thousands of words tied to millions of feelings bouncing around in my head, and I still can’t form a sentence without getting my tongue tied – things that are supposedly so easy to explain become inexplicable. But it is through the simple combination of harmonies that switches on the waterworks, or the cacophony of dissonant minor chords that tug on my heartstrings, that make me feel like an open book. As someone that has a hard time with words, it’s nice to be so easily understood without having to exchange them. Music is the expression that I strive for, the expression I live vicariously through.
Being born into a household of musicians, I think it’s safe to say that I was raised by music, too. I actually find it hard to believe that there are people who claimed that they weren’t. Whether it be through the simple tune of the ABC’s, or a mother’s hums gently sending her newborn to sleep, music in and of itself is incorporated into our lives whether we realize it or not. It is there as my accompaniment during my lowest of lows; when I need someone – something – to fill the empty silence. Or, on a lighter note, it’s the one thing that makes my own mundane life a party; a bear hug when I need it most. Music has the ability to leave a pang of bittersweetness hanging in the air, a singular irreplicable feeling that is like no other, compelling me to listen for yet another time. I don’t know how a two-minute song can relate to my whole life’s story with ease, but I get so addicted, and it fascinates me. The versatility of music is what makes it so powerful, so enticing.
Listening to music is an otherworldly experience. As I put in earbuds and blast the volume, I am transported to a bubble of my own that is blissful and silent to the moving world around me. It brings such fulfillment that it’s almost debauchery; I almost feel selfish for not sharing the symphony of notes and rhythms and words with the people around me. But somehow, at the same time, it’s what unites us; it is the basis of humanity and the one sole thing that bonds us together. Its mutual understanding of universal emotions connects the human soul, and even without words it portrays and says more than enough. I am nothing without music, and if it simply didn’t exist, I don’t think I would either.
What’s your current jam right now?
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